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    London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense


    'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He Will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
    Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
    why the early bird gets the Worm;
    Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
    more Than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children,
    are in Charge).
    His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
    overbearing regulations were set in place.
    Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
    teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

    Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
    Job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly
    children.

    It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
    consent to administer sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a student; but
    could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to
    have an abortion.


    Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
    Contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better
    treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you
    couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the
    burglar could sue you for assault.

    Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
    realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in
    her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

    Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his Wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He
    is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now,
    Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

    Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

    And a little extra........................

    Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 600
    Employees and has the following statistics?

    29 have been accused of spouse abuse

    7 have been arrested for fraud

    19 have been accused of writing bad cheque's

    117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

    3 have done time for assault

    71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

    4 have been arrested on drug-related charges

    8 have been arrested for shoplifting

    21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

    84 have been arrested for drink driving in the last year



    Which organization is this?



    It's the 635 members of the House of Commons, the same group that
    cranks Out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of
    us in line.
    Brian (the devil incarnate)

  • #2
    So, so true
    Dr. Mordrid
    ----------------------------
    An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

    I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1,250 fps

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Brian Ellis View Post

      Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 600
      Employees and has the following statistics?

      29 have been accused of spouse abuse

      7 have been arrested for fraud

      19 have been accused of writing bad cheque's

      117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

      3 have done time for assault

      71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

      4 have been arrested on drug-related charges

      8 have been arrested for shoplifting

      21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

      84 have been arrested for drink driving in the last year



      Which organization is this?



      It's the 635 members of the House of Commons, the same group that
      cranks Out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of
      us in line.
      This must be an urban myth since I've seen a nearly identical list but that was for the US.
      If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

      Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

      Comment


      • #4
        Very likely, but politicians are the same the world over!
        Brian (the devil incarnate)

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