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A golden oldie, well told.

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  • A golden oldie, well told.

    6 P's, Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance



    Stick with it at the beginning, 'cos you are going to wet yourself by the

    end!



    A comedy writer couldn't have put it together better. Thank goodness he

    survived.



    Possibly the funniest story in a while. This is a bricklayer's

    accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian

    equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board.



    This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a

    Darwin Award for sure....



    Dear Sir:



    I am writing in response to your request for additional information

    in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of

    my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the

    following details will be sufficient.



    I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was

    working alone on the roof of a new six story building. When I completed my work, I

    found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were

    found to be slightly in excess of 500 lbs.



    Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them

    in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the

    building on the sixth floor.



    Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the

    barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the

    rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.



    You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh

    175lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I

    forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up

    the side of the building.



    In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now

    proceeding downward at an equal, impressive speed. This explained

    the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as

    listed in section 3 of the accident report form.



    Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping

    until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the

    pulley. Fortunately this time I was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of

    beginning to experience a great deal of pain.



    At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit

    the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of

    the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again

    to my weight.



    As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the

    building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This

    accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several

    lacerations of my legs and lower body.



    Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel

    seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of

    bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.



    I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks,

    in pain, unable to move, I must have lost my presence of mind and let

    go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey

    back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.



    I hope this answers your inquiry."
    FT.

  • #2
    soooooo oooooooold......

    and repetead ad infinitum......
    If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

    Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

    Comment


    • #3
      Very true. Its one of the 'internet orginals' Mythbusters attempted it. I think their biggest problem was getting the barrel to break.

      No apologies required.
      FT.

      Comment


      • #4
        yeah, that mythbusters ep was a barrel of fun
        If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

        Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

        Comment

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