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The Jewish Funeral

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  • The Jewish Funeral

    Sam died. His will provided $50,000 for an elaborate funeral.

    As the last attendees left, Sam's wife Rose turned to her oldest friend Sadie and said, "Well, I'm sure Sam would be pleased."


    "I'm sure you're right," replied Sadie, who leaned in close and lowered her voice to a whisper. "Tell me, how much did it really cost?"

    "All of it," said Rose. "Fifty thousand."

    "No!" Sadie exclaimed. "I mean, it was very nice, but really...
    $50,000?"

    Rose nodded. "The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the shul for the Rabbi's services. The shiva food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone."

    Sadie computed quickly. "$42,500 for a memorial stone? Oy vey, how big is it?"

    "Five and a half carats
    Brian (the devil incarnate)

  • #2
    Lol!

    .
    Diplomacy, it's a way of saying “nice doggie”, until you find a rock!

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    • #3
      "For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism."

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      • #4
        Ha Ha... Awesome?
        That'll be sent around work!

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        • #5
          It was a few minutes before the services started. The congregation was seated in the pews and talking quietly.

          Without warning, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the exits, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

          Soon everyone had exited the church except for one elderly gentleman. He sat calmly seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in front of him.

          Satan walked right up to the old man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

          "Yup, sure do." said the old gentleman.

          "Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.

          "Nope, sure ain't." said the old gentleman.

          "Do you know I can kill you with a single word?" asked Satan.

          "Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.

          "Don't you realize that I could cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.

          "Yep," was the calm reply.

          "Yet you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.

          "Nope."

          More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me"?

          The old man looked Satan right in the eye and calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years."

          Last edited by Dr Mordrid; 2 February 2007, 18:26.
          Dr. Mordrid
          ----------------------------
          An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

          I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1,250 fps

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          • #6
            !

            .
            Diplomacy, it's a way of saying “nice doggie”, until you find a rock!

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            • #7
              Double Lol!

              ~~DukeP~~

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              • #8
                Ouch! I know that feeling well!!
                "I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned."

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