Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Tgif

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Tgif

    We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. This just tells you how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno.

    Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience.

    There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

    She said it was midwinter...snowing and quite cold...and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.

    It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.

    The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.

    Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started.



    In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.

    All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.

    It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance!"

    He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.



    She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

    So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

    As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down... or perhaps that should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

    Jay Leno's comment ... "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off
    Lawrence

  • #2
    P.S. You've been Spanked!

    Comment


    • #3
      Wow!
      Titanium is the new bling!
      (you heard from me first!)

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by LvR View Post
        ....
        Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

        So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
        ....
        rofl!
        but I find it hard to believe the bit above....
        I'm sure there are other ways (ones that don't include peeing) that they could have came up with....

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by NetSnake View Post
          rofl!
          but I find it hard to believe the bit above....
          I'm sure there are other ways (ones that don't include peeing) that they could have came up with....
          Weeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllll ....................... around here S+M normally don't get mentioned until the second date
          Lawrence

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by NetSnake View Post
            rofl!
            I'm sure there are other ways (ones that don't include peeing) that they could have came up with....
            Possibly... But of course, in the heat of the moment, I can imagine one just tries the first thing that comes to mind. Luckily the man also had the extra latte.

            Makes one curious though: was there a second date? And did it top the first one?


            Kinda makes one of my embarrassing first dates (note the plural ) look like peanuts: I considered it to be a date; but judging by the way the conversation went and the questions she had, etc.; she apparently considered it to be more of a job interview .
            (and no, I didn't get the job )


            Jörg
            pixar
            Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow. (James Dean)

            Comment


            • #7
              ...


              .
              Diplomacy, it's a way of saying “nice doggie”, until you find a rock!

              Comment


              • #8
                http://www.snopes.com/love/dating/frozen.asp
                Yeah, well I'm gonna build my own lunar space lander! With blackjack aaaaannd Hookers! Actually, forget the space lander, and the blackjack. Ahhhh forget the whole thing!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Jeeze gt40 go ahead and piss all over his story why don't you.
                  Chuck
                  秋音的爸爸

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    HAHAHA made my morning. GT40 that snopes doesn't seem to give real proof that it didn't happen.. Seems more like someone couldn't believe and tried to prove it with logic. As anyone that has to pee that bad can tell you... logic doesn't always work in those moments
                    Wikipedia and Google.... the needles to my tangent habit.
                    ________________________________________________

                    That special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, Or maybe below the cockles, Maybe in the sub-cockle area, Maybe in the liver, Maybe in the kidneys, Maybe even in the colon, We don't know.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      My criticism of the Snopes criticism;

                      1. I saw that show and the woman was beet red relating it, indicating embarrassment.

                      2. The reviewer presumes that the woman was standing while urinating, but this is by no means clearly stated in the story and a rare practice to begin with. To the contrary that she was unstable enough that she had to lean against the car makes it more likely she was squatting,

                      Remember, I'm a hunter. There are no bathrooms 10 miles deep in the woods so I've had to "assume the position" many times, and believe me with heavy pants around your ankles & bulky boots squatting over snow & ice is a tenuous position at best.

                      3. The reviewer states that moist skin will not freeze and stick to painted metal. This itself is patently FALSE! Been there, done that. Also; anyone who has been in the recent ice storms will tell you that ice stuck to every metal surface on their vehicles, painted or not, quite tenaciously.
                      Last edited by Dr Mordrid; 19 January 2007, 09:04.
                      Dr. Mordrid
                      ----------------------------
                      An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

                      I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1,250 fps

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        agreed. The stories says as much. She leaned on the bumper because it was so slick.

                        You have to wonder if there was a second date. That either bonded them (hahahaha) or make it far to ackward to ever see each other again.
                        Wikipedia and Google.... the needles to my tangent habit.
                        ________________________________________________

                        That special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, Or maybe below the cockles, Maybe in the sub-cockle area, Maybe in the liver, Maybe in the kidneys, Maybe even in the colon, We don't know.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by cjolley View Post
                          Jeeze gt40 go ahead and piss all over his story why don't you.



                          True story or not, I had remembered seeing this on snopes.

                          Personally, I thing the story is false.
                          I could possibly believe being stuck to a 'bumm'per, but not a fender
                          Yeah, well I'm gonna build my own lunar space lander! With blackjack aaaaannd Hookers! Actually, forget the space lander, and the blackjack. Ahhhh forget the whole thing!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by gt40 View Post


                            I could possibly believe being stuck to a 'bumm'per, but not a fender

                            Who knows?

                            I dare you to try it when it gets THIS COLD!





                            .
                            Diplomacy, it's a way of saying “nice doggie”, until you find a rock!

                            Comment


                            • #15


                              I remember going to a Cincinatti Bengals vs. San Diego Chargers playoff game (NFL football) back in the early 80's where the wind chill was -59°F & the actual was ~ -10°F
                              Dr. Mordrid
                              ----------------------------
                              An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

                              I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1,250 fps

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X