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  • Dear Senator

    Dear Senator,

    As a native of the U.S. and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Immigration and Naturalization Service in an effort to determine the
    process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

    My reasons for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stem from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is
    accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, what I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This
    would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
    Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications. And last but not least, another benefit to becoming an illegal alien
    is that I can commit felony crimes and not be punished for them. If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal(retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.


    Your Loyal Constituent,


    ---maybe everyone should send a letter like this. Maybe they'd get a clue as to why this issue pisses citizens off so much.
    "Never interfere with the enemy when he is in the process of destroying himself"

  • #2
    Too true to be funny

    Dr. Mordrid
    Dr. Mordrid
    ----------------------------
    An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

    I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1,250 fps

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    • #3
      "your loyal constituent" pft..

      why should we be loyal to a government that consistently stabs us in the back?

      ... oh, yeah.. the threat of pain of death and imprisonment. Just like the Chinese. Well, at least they have jobs.. sort of.

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