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  • #1

    Pfff....

    I know this subject has been posted a couple of times before, and that there are other MURCers in the same situation... But I just need to get it out of my system.

    Recently, I attended a conference in Paris: a girl I met at a conference before suggested I'd submit something as she was going there. With that kind of incentive, I managed to write an 8 page paper in 3 days and it was accepted without comments.
    We had stayed in contact for over 1.5 years (since that last conference), and it would be our first meeting since. We managed to visit Paris during the conference, but now afterwards I got a mail saying basically that I'm just a friend.
    From a practical point of view, I knew I could expect this (we live > 1000 km apart), but it still bothers me...

    I remember advising in anonther thread that things will come when they come, but I also said that things get to a guy at times... And this is one of those times... I should probabely stick to biding my time, finishing my PHD and dedicate more time afterwards...

    Most probabely the ladder theory will come up again... (even though I'm still not convinced of it)


    Jörg
    pixar
    Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow. (James Dean)
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Ladder Theory is funny and contains some wisdom, but it's not The Ultimate Truthâ„¢, that doesn't exist.

    I was going to write something lengthy, but then I realized it wasn't helpful nor funny, so I deleted it.
    There's an Opera in my macbook.

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    • #3
      I was going to write something along the lines of "they're all too much hassle anyway be thankful you're single" but then I realised that I'm not that bitter any more... bloody hell that was a bit of a revelation for me

      Erm yeah so just enjoy life whatever your situation, and make the most of having the time to get that PhD finished without too many distractions
      DM says: Crunch with Matrox Users@ClimatePrediction.net

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      • #4
        Originally posted by GNEP
        Erm yeah so just enjoy life whatever your situation, and make the most of having the time to get that PhD finished without too many distractions
        Yeah, well I'm gonna build my own lunar space lander! With blackjack aaaaannd Hookers! Actually, forget the space lander, and the blackjack. Ahhhh forget the whole thing!

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        • #5
          Originally posted by VJ
          From a practical point of view, I knew I could expect this (we live > 1000 km apart), but it still bothers me...
          The reason it bothers you so much is the 1,000 miles barrier that creates illusion of a perfect relationship.
          She doesn’t wake you up snoring or you don’t see her picking up her nose…etc.

          It’s hard to let go of something behind the “what if” question.
          But, what is even harder, is not to compare your future girlfriends to her, even knowing most of that relationship was just an illusion… .

          Appreciate what did happen, you’ll cherish the memories later on after getting over her but look forward to what’s ahead of you.

          Motto:

          Don’t worry of what could or couldn’t happen, because you’ll miss what’s happening right now.
          Diplomacy, it's a way of saying “nice doggie”, until you find a rock!

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          • #6
            Sometimes certain things have to happen to start everything else rolling, I'd advice not to expect the certain things but rather to carry on doing whatever you have been doing all along. GNEP had given the best advice as quoted above.

            You would always have your true friends and MURC
            Life is a bed of roses. Everyone else sees the roses, you are the one being gored by the thorns.

            AMD PhenomII555@B55(Quadcore-3.2GHz) Gigabyte GA-890FXA-UD5 Kingston 1x2GB Generic 8400GS512MB WD1.5TB LGMulti-Drive Dell2407WFP
            ***Matrox G400DH 32MB still chugging along happily in my other pc***

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            • #7
              Originally posted by GNEP
              Erm yeah so just enjoy life whatever your situation, and make the most of having the time to get that PhD finished without too many distractions
              I know...
              (but sometimes one wants to be distracted... )


              Jörg
              pixar
              Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow. (James Dean)

              Comment

              • #8
                Originally posted by VJ
                I know...
                (but sometimes one wants to be distracted... )
                Oh, absolutely I can empathise with that But you know that women can sense when we are looking for someone, and that instantly makes us less attractive? (Conversely, if you are going out with someone, LOADS of people will flirt with you. Confidence thing partly, but also women can be devious...)
                DM says: Crunch with Matrox Users@ClimatePrediction.net

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by GNEP
                  Oh, absolutely I can empathise with that But you know that women can sense when we are looking for someone, and that instantly makes us less attractive?
                  They are like bloodhounds!

                  (Conversely, if you are going out with someone, LOADS of people will flirt with you. Confidence thing partly, but also women can be devious...)
                  I have been told that before.... But how to get the first one?

                  Either way, thanks guys!


                  Jörg
                  pixar
                  Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow. (James Dean)

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                  • #10
                    Why is it whenever I hear of some woman telling a guy they like him like a friend, brother, whatever.. it just sounds like they are telling him that he is a defective little fraction of a man who does not deserve to have his genes propagated in any way whatsoever? It just seems like the ultimate insult to me, but somehow they don't understand that they are saying this.. or perhaps they just think we as males are too stupid to decipher what they are really saying..

                    Time to let yourself go and get a really bad attitude, maybe get a motorcycle.. see if the ladder theory is right.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Originally posted by KvHagedorn
                      Why is it whenever I hear of some woman telling a guy they like him like a friend, brother, whatever.. it just sounds like they are telling him that he is a defective little fraction of a man who does not deserve to have his genes propagated in any way whatsoever?
                      Hadn't thought of it that way... Are you trying to push me down deeper?
                      (just kidding)

                      Time to let yourself go and get a really bad attitude, maybe get a motorcycle.. see if the ladder theory is right.
                      Sorry, but that's just not me...
                      (and I took motorcycling lessons earlier , but my taste in motorcycles doesn't match the bad attitude)

                      Jörg
                      pixar
                      Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow. (James Dean)

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Luckily my taste somehow matches it... (OK, not exactly, but still - Suzuki Intruder is on my "most bad" end of the scale).
                        Now if only I could get one...

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