Announcement

**ZokesPro** · 2 February 2006, 09:45

Let her be, she's not thinking clearly caused she's pissed off at herslef for not going with the better plan, (that's the way it looks), once she cools down your message might get through to her. Sounds like she used you as her temporary punching bag.

**Kooldino** · 2 February 2006, 09:47

Makes sense.

Now, under normal circumstances, I'd ask for an apology. Should I even go there with this girl?

**cjolley** · 2 February 2006, 09:49

Why would you worry about "dealing" with a 12 year old?

**Tjalfe** · 2 February 2006, 09:51

I hope she makes up for such behaviour in other departments.

**ZokesPro** · 2 February 2006, 09:53

Is she always like this?

**schmosef** · 2 February 2006, 10:06

Man you so need to read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". It's a terrible book in general but it has a few good points.

It clearly explains how Men need to recognise that women complain about their problems as a means of venting and usually already know what they intend to do to solve them. Talking about the problem is just a means of stress relief. Men don't understand this. Why talk about a problem that you've already solved? It makes no sense other than women like to feel empathy for their situation and derive much of their self worth from being part of a "support group". Bottom line, unless a women specifically says, "I need your advice on something" she's not actually asking for advice no matter how much it sounds like she might be or how tempting it might be to offer that advice.

And Women need to recognise that men derive a significant amount of self worth by helping others solve problems. When a woman starts telling us about a problem our immediate reaction is to try to help solve it. That is usually NOT what the woman wants and they end up re-buffing the man's attempt to help, which in turn hurts his sense of self worth. Women need to understand this and: a) not seek out men purely for venting their frustrations (that's what other women are for); and b) be able to recognise when they've fallen into that trap where a man is trying to give them unwanted advice and find a way to get out without hurting the man's ego.

edit: just saw llc's post... I completely disagree

**cjolley** · 2 February 2006, 10:13

Originally posted by schmosef

...Bottom line, unless a women specifically says, "I need your advice on something" she's not actually asking for advice no matter how much it sounds like she might be...

Unless she is.
You'll never know untill it's too late.

**lowlifecat** · 2 February 2006, 10:29

Sounds like she's trying to vent and you're being logical about it. Not good.

You should have just listened to her bitch about her mom and money issue (throwing in a the odd empathizing comment whenever you get the chance).

She probably already knew how to fix the situation. You're 'helping out' prolly came accross as condesending/patronizing (thus the comment that you sound like her mom).

Just my .02$

/meow

edit: just saw schmosef's post. I'm with what he said.

az · 2 February 2006, 10:31

And we few men who know about this Greatest Of All Secretsâ„¢ must in turn understand that always giving advice whether it wants to be heard or not is not the fastest way into a woman's panties

edit: just saw lowlifecat's post. I'm with what he said.

**ZokesPro** · 2 February 2006, 10:34

Well the fastest way into a woman's panties is through her panty drawer, or even the dirty laundry hamper, or through her pants/skirst/whatever.

edit: just saw az's post. I'm with what he said.

**Kooldino** · 2 February 2006, 10:58

Originally posted by ZokesPro

Is she always like this?

Half the time.

**Byock** · 2 February 2006, 11:11

Sounds like a typical girl. They want you to say how horrible the other person is, even if you agree with the other person.

**Dr Mordrid** · 2 February 2006, 11:23

Originally posted by schmosef

Man you so need to read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". It's a terrible book in general but it has a few good points.

After being married for MANY years, raising a daughter plus having a ton of girlfriends before that (wife was not happy when she opened my yearbook & a ton of GF pics with notes fell out

) I can vouch for schmosef's description of the interpersonal mechanics. Darned near perfect.

Dr. Mordrid

**Wombat** · 2 February 2006, 11:30

Dino, it's time to stop dating HS girls.

Announcement

Dealing with difficult people

Dealing with difficult people

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment

Comment