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  • Old age

    A sad, old man was sitting on a park bench when along came a police officer. The officer asked the old man why he was so upset.

    The old man replied, "Every morning I wake up with a wonderful 20 year old blonde. She cooks great meals including sausage, and bacon and everything I love. Then we make passionate love in bed. Afterwards, she gives me a bath, with hand drawn hot water, cooks me lunch and followed by more passionate love. In the evening, we'll have top the day off with a fantastic diner and yet more wonderful love.

    The police officer gets a puzzled look on his face and asks, "Well, what seems to be the problem?"

    The old man replied with a sad look on his face, "I can't remember where I live!"
    Brian (the devil incarnate)

  • #2
    One day, two old men from a retirement home were sitting on the front porch retirement home. One man says to the other, "Ya know, Bill, if you think about it, we are not that old. I mean, my memory is still very good." As the man said this, he knocked on the wood chair beside him."Actually, sharp as ever."

    After a couple minutes of silence, the first man started to talk again, "So, is anyone going to get the door or do I have to do it?"




    A priest decides one mid weekday to visit one of his elderly parishoners, Mrs Smith. He rings the door bell and Mrs Smith appears.

    "Good Day Mrs Smith. I just thought I would drop by and see how your are doing" The woman says, "Oh just fine Father, come on in and we'll have some tea."

    While sitting a the coffee table, the priest notices a bowl of almonds on the table. "Mind if I have one?", the priest says.
    "Not at all, have as many as you like".

    After a few hours the priest looks at his watch and alarmed at how long he has been visting says to Mrs Smith, "Oh my goodness, look at the time. I must be going. Oh but dear me I have eaten all your almonds. I'll have to replace them next time I visit."

    To which Mrs Smith replied, "Oh don't bother Father. Ever since I lost all my teeth, it's all I can do just to lick the chocolate off them."

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    • #3
      Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench. A guy in a trenchcoat walks up and flashes them. The first woman has immediately has a stroke. The second womain also has a stroke. The third woman gets upset because she can't reach.

      Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive, bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine. -- Dr. Perry Cox

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