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  • Happy Future new Year

    HAPPY NEW YEAR!

    The year is 2029-----

    Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh
    largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California. White
    minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third
    language.

    Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and
    livestock.

    Baby conceived naturally . . . scientists stumped.

    Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

    Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory
    of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

    Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

    France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica.

    Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally,
    but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

    The U.S. Postal Service raises the price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

    An 85-year, $75.8 billion study reveals Diet and Exercise are the keys to
    weight loss.

    Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

    Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter
    speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

    Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

    Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

    Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

    New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

    Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

    Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

    IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

    Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a voting machine.
    "Never interfere with the enemy when he is in the process of destroying himself"

  • #2
    Most of that stuff is too depressing and close to home to be funny, but this one made me laugh out loud:

    Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

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    • #3
      Heh, depressingly close to the real life paranoid fantacies of some conservatives.

      This was my fave, and gets my vote as most likely to come true:
      An 85-year, $75.8 billion study reveals Diet and Exercise are the keys to
      weight loss*.
      chuck

      *Come to think of it, this study is really happening, in an inadvertant way, and the cost is way over $75.8 billion.
      Last edited by cjolley; 12 January 2005, 08:22.
      Chuck
      秋音的爸爸

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