With malice toward nun; with charity for all

[Brian Ellis]

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you".

She answers, " My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that:
1, you have to be single and 2, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?"

'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied. I must confess,

I'm married

and I'm Jewish."



The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin

and

I'm going to a Fancy Dress party."

[DukeP]

And Your Evil, Mr. Ellis.



~~DukeP~~

[Brian Ellis]

Well, of course I am, being the devil

[VJ]

There are two nuns. One of them is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are walking down a dark road, still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us
for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he
wants.

SL: Its logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk
faster.

So both nuns started walking faster...


SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it is not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach
us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go
that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical...


Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me
what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't
follow us both, so he followed me.

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress
up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his
pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress
up can run faster than a man with his pants down....


(And those of you who thought it would be dirty, pray for your souls)