Letters to Santa....

[Dr Mordrid]

No, these aren't jokes. They are real letters sent to Santa from Michigan kids passed on by the Postal Service and published in todays Detroit News.

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Santa:

How old are you? Who was Santa Claus before you? How many miles from Warren is the North Pole and how can I get there?

(no name given)

Dear Santa:

I don't want anything special for Christmas, but could you get my dad to shave?

(no name given)

Dear Santa Clogs!

I love you, Santa Clogs! Mary, mary Christmas to you!

(no name given)

Dear Santa Class and Mrs. Class,

How are you? Santa, can your elfs make one thing a child could dream for? If they can, could they make a slay just like yours and raindeers that fly? If they could, could I please have one for Christmas?

Have your raindeers ever had baby raindeers? Could I get a baby one?

Mrs. Class, what do you do on Christmas Eve? Santa, how can you come in every house and not make a sound?

Love, Taylor

Dear Santa,

Please get me a drumset plees, or a basketball or baseball or football or a golf game, plees. Prity plees.

Shane

Dear Santa,

My name is Eddie. I have been good this year. I have because I brought in the pumpkin after Halloween. Would you please bring me a stink blaster gun. I have a question I would like to ask you. Do you know when my birthday is?

I love you.

Love, Eddie

Dear Santa,

I'm not sure what I want for Cristmas this year. But, all I want is peace love and care and that you know I'm sorry for the bad things I did. I promise to try to be good. I don't blam you if you give me cole. Well, when I said I promise to be good, I mean to start a new fresh year. I wish sometimes I could go back and chage it.

Santa, I feel like I need a new life.

Love, Heather

Dear Santa,

I have been a good boy this year. Here is my list: Hot wheels, speed city, geo trax, barrel laddrr, Thomas rilway, and Thomas lager station. Please remember the poor children.

XOXO, Evan

P.S. (In parent's handwriting) A boy's suit with a tie.

Dear Santa,

How are you this year? How are the raindeer? I have been very good this year so this is what I want. The TOP five are: 64 MP Graphics Card for our P.C. Allowance to get a game cube. Mega Blocks. Killer Bunnies, the board game. Desktop R/C Mini Rovers (the $49.99 one.)

Also: cash and peace on earth.

Also: don't forget the poor and homeless. They deserve Christmas too. Hope to hear from you soon. Merry Christmas.

Colin

Dear Santa,

I would like a Samantha doll for Christmas and a 2-in-1 Gymnist outfit.

Love, Stephaney

P.S. You might have got my other letter, but this is a reminder.

Dear Santa,

I have been very good because I treat other pepole the way I want to be treated. Most of all what I want is a bell from your slay. Can you tell me just one of your elfs names? I hope you like the cookies and milk.

Sincerely, Christian

Dear Santa,

I wish for a star on top of our tree. I wish it was so real Santa. So real I could hardly blive my eyes. Please come and put a star on top of out tree. Thank you Santa.

From: Sarah

Dear Santa,

Here is what I want: a video cam with some disks. The American girl doll with know bands and with flippy hair. Thank you Santa. Write me back before Christmas please. (If you are not to busy.)

Amber

Dear Santa,

If you go by the hall wall, you should see a little Christmas tree. I have a cat named mittens. She has a stocking there so you could give her a present. Think about it.

Your good friend, Katelyn

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I love kids

Dr. Mordrid

[The Rock]

stink blaster gun

This one intrigues me. I have one of these in my butt, but it requires serious loading via various food/drink such as salsa con queso and mandarin flavored Absolut vodka. A deadly weapon indeed.

[Dr Mordrid]

I was born with one of those too (just ask my wife ), but I think he meant this: Stink Blaster Gun....

Blast your Friends with a ball of harmless, but Stinky air from up to 20 feet away! Just pull back the plunger, squeeze the pod release, aim and fire! The Stink Blaster Blaster coils the air as it races towards your target for a concentrated blast of air and smell. The power of the air ruffles shirts and blows hair, while the smell will wrinkle noses and annoy your friends. Blast 'em from a distance, they'll never see you coming! The ultimate in Stink Prank play, the Stink Blaster Blaster is smelly wind blowing fun. The Stink Blaster Blaster comes complete with blaster and 2 Stink Pods.

Gawd....what I wouldn't have given for one of those when I was a kid

Dr. Mordrid

[Brian R.]

Take a bottle or test tube of butyric acid (or other nasty substance) and walk up behind someone and blow across the top of the bottle at them and walk away.

[Dr Mordrid]

We used to get hold of butyric acid in our HS lab (or buy it at the local joke store) and break a vial in the hallway before exams

Dr. Mordrid

[Admiral]

Also: cash and peace on earth.

[Goc]

If you go by the hall wall, you should see a little Christmas tree. I have a cat named mittens. She has a stocking there so you could give her a present. Think about it.

This one is great!

[Marshmallowman]

Thomas lager station

I'll have one of those

[Byock]

Kids are so funny. Stink Blaster?? Oh, what I wouldn't give for one of those and a time machine...

[Umfriend]

Admiral, could you check your PM box pls?