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Why did Byock cross the road?

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  • Why did Byock cross the road?

    Why did the chicken cross the road?


    ANSWERS:

    Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken XP, which will both cross roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.4999999999.

    The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

    Freud: The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

    L.A. Police Department: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

    Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.

    Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

    Saddam Hussein #2: It is the Mother of all Chickens.

    Saddam Hussein #3: I will not allow anyone to inspect my chickens.

    Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed it, I've not been told!

    Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

    Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

    Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

    The Pope: That is only for God to know.

    Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

    Colonel Sanders: I missed one?

    Government staff before congressional committee: I don't recall why chickens come home to roost on my side of the road - - but if you push I'll take the 5th or leave the coop.

    Politician: A chicken in every pot will 'save the children' and protect my own perch.

    Influence investor: I heard wealthy chickens receive free lodging while being plucked at a special house across Pennsylvania Avenue.

    Affirmative action advocate: Chickens have been discriminated against. They should be granted special class privileges. Retribution payments might be realized across the road.

    Retired Chicken: On this side they said they 'saved social security' for chickens by building a trust fund surplus, but actually they spent every penny of the surplus on non-pension stuff as fast as the money arrived, leaving non-marketable IOUs instead of real money. I hope the other side of the road has its trust fund 'surplus' saved for future chickens in hard cash or in fully marketable securities, since chickens can't buy corn during retirement with non-marketable IOUs.

    Working Chicken: On this side they say my FICA taxes will produce a negative return toward my retirement. On the other side they believe in UFOs.

    Attorney: Chickens are invited to cross the road to join a class action law suit against all non-chickens.

    Parent: Teachers have credentials, but my chicks can't read. The President said he's looking for volunteers on the other side to teach chicks to read.

    Environmentalist: The chicken crossed the road to escape blame for earth warming.

    Voter: Maybe if I cross the road and believe the other party's slogan, "vote for us and you will not be plucked."

    Voter #2: I will no longer vote, because they plucked me on the other side, too.

    Economic student: Government said they had another surplus. How can that they say that when each year they increased total debt to another record? I hope they count chickens differently on the other side.

    Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define 'chicken,' please?

    8th Grade chicken: On my side two-thirds of graduates need remedial work in college to make up what they didn't learn in high school. On the other side you can skip high school and go direct to college.

    12th Grade chicken: On this side we take 'math & science,' yet come in last measured against students from other nations. Maybe the other side lets us attend foreign schools..

    Teenager: To prove that he wasn't a chicken.

    Chicken lawyer: After the 2000 election, all the nation's lawyers stopped chasing ambulances for awhile, and crossed over to Florida - - to count votes for Bush & Gore, 'til they dropped.

    Accountant-auditor chicken with a Big 5 firm: Because it's more profitable to audit and OK 'cooked' books on the other side.

    Enron chicken: on the other side you can run up debt and hide the fact, just like politicians do with the social security trust fund.

    Truck driver: To prove to the armadillo that it could be done.

    Bottom-line: if things get too serious in life, just think about crossing the road like the chicken.
    Brian (the devil incarnate)

  • #2
    Brian R.: To get to the other side.

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    • #3
      VJ: It didn't cross the road, the road shifted under the chicken.
      pixar
      Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow. (James Dean)

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      • #4
        That is plain silly. Why would the road shift under the chicken?
        Join MURCs Distributed Computing effort for Rosetta@Home and help fight Alzheimers, Cancer, Mad Cow disease and rising oil prices.
        [...]the pervading principle and abiding test of good breeding is the requirement of a substantial and patent waste of time. - Veblen

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Umfriend
          That is plain silly. Why would the road shift under the chicken?
          To get the chicken to the other side?
          P.S. You've been Spanked!

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          • #6
            No, to get to the other side of the chicken

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Umfriend
              That is plain silly. Why would the road shift under the chicken?
              A relativistic effect?

              Dr. Mordrid
              Dr. Mordrid
              ----------------------------
              An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

              I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1,250 fps

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Umfriend
                That is plain silly. Why would the road shift under the chicken?

                simply put... the spiral concept..
                "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Brian R.
                  No, to get to the other side of the chicken
                  P.S. You've been Spanked!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Bah, He crossed the road, to get to the chick!
                    "I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned."

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