Getting older..

[Lizzard[MPE]]

This thread wont have much substance just so you know. I just wanted to go over something that i have been thinking about lately. Its about getting older. As i have always been a very mature person, even as a young kid. I was always the one in the group who looked at all my friends thinking.. when are these ppl going to grow up? I was the 16 yr old hanging out with the 25-30 yr olds.

It has been brought up to me lately that i look older. In the last week, ive been told atleast 7-8 times randomly by people ive known for awhile that i look like ive grown up. Now, the weird thing about this is, in the past, i feel like i was always very mature. And this month ive been looking back thinking, was i really that mature? I'm not so sure now. I'm now looking at things i did last year thinking, did i really do that?

I look back on old posts and think, "what was i like 7 years old?" i read about things i did and just shake my head. I think everyone reaches a time in their lives where they just grow up. I also believe that in the past i thought i had reached this point, and now i know i hadnt yet. These last few months i just feel like i have. Its a very strange feeling as well. I am looking at everything from a different perspective. I'm not sure what brought all this on, i think it just happened. I look back at my rollercoaster of a life and think wow, youve been through some shit girl. but its ok, im fine with everything thats happened to me, because its made me the person i am today.

So finally getting to my question. Do you remember the point in your life where you just grew up? and was it like a switch that just turned on/off. Did it seem so plain as day that you just knew you were old. Have you watched anyone around you go through this as well? or have i lost my freaking mind and have no idea what im talking about and somehow i dreampt this all up in my sleep?

Ive had only one other realization in my life before this. That was when i realized that life was good. It was around 2000 and i was driving home from work and i just had this force come over me that i pulled off the side of the road and watched this beautiful sunset go down. and in that moment i knew everything was always going to be alright no matter what happened. It was a very strong moment for me, and this is another. I'm seriously talking very powerful feelings in my life that these are the only two times that i have felt like this. so stange. I normally dont have very strong feelings, nor do i show my feelings. So when this kinda thing happens, it happens at full force. Its almost like having a breakdown, but eventually in a good way.

[EnglandJoe]

You neve stop maturing Liz, maturing is another word for getting wiser. It's great you've made it to another stage in you life, pity I missed it

[KRSESQ]

There's a difference between growing up and growing old. I'm 46 and I don't feel I've really completely grown up yet. Granted I'm more mature and wiser (I hope!). My judgement has steadily improved over the years but there was never any epiphanous moment when I woke up and said "Now I am Grown Up."

In some ways this has been a handicap because it adversly affects how I relate to other adults (my self confidence and self esteem goes up and down more than a cheap carnival thrill ride). On the other hand I'm a great hit with the kids because I'm one of the few adults in my circle who will get down and play with them on their level or try to raise them up to mine by not talking down to them or insulting their intelligence. I relate really well to teens and college-agers as well. Maybe because I don't let my fear show. Its a little like handling dogs in that respect.

When I turned 25 I was really bummed. The "quarter-century" mark hit me hard for some reason. I haven't felt that depressed about any subsequent birthdays, although I did let it be known that if I came home on my 40th and found a sign saying "lordy lordy Kevin's forty" in front of the house I wasn't going to stop and wouldn't return until it was gone.

I guess I've just lived my life according to the old Peter Pan song:

"If growing up means it would be
beneath my dignity to climb a tree
I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up,
Not me!"

Kevin

[High_Jumbllama]

I remember periods of time be it due to work or personal social changes. There's no switch just the realization. The change happens over a long period of time.

Going off to college. That was an eye opener. No one to fall back on that's not at least an hour and a half away.

Working at an outsource testing company. Being one of a relative few responsible for testing something worth so much. Actually being in charge of something important instead of the shit jobs from before. Having to ask for more responsibility and getting it. It helped let me know what I was capable of.

Working where I am now setting up a network from the ground up. Being responsible for and trusted with so much information. This means so much to me due to my lack of maturity in my late teens and early twenties. Everything before was so easy or I did not care so I did not try and I did not value it like I should have.

Realizing the reason that people have something to believe in is that they do believe. It may mean nothing to me or a million other people but due to their belief it is very real. Right and wrong. Love. Higher being(s) and science. Trust and loyalty.

These are a few of the things that have made me grow up but I am still tiny.

No matter how grown up you become, never forget how to play. Never forget your joy.

[KRSESQ]

For me a big part of "growing up" was the realization that I didn't have to work as a wage slave my whole life. Finding out that I could actually make a go of it as an independent businessman was the first real eye opener for me. I've come a long way since I started and I have a long way to go before I'm what most folks would call "successful" but I wouldn't go back for anything (well, almost anything. Let's hear some offers).

Kevin

[J1NG]

Well, I've had LOTS of "realisation" moments in my life. Realisation of all sorts of things, both material, mental and emotional. But I've never grown up despite it ( all these realisations ). Grown older sure. But not up. I'm still virtually a baby. I forget things really quickly, both horrid and (sometimes) nice. And just enjoy what I've got in front of me. I've always been like this. (Hence virtual baby) Never had to grow into it. Unlikely to grow out of it either.

J1NG

[EnglandJoe]

Yup, growing up has very little to do with time and years

[cjolley]

The sun has been comming up and the day getting brighter for some time.
You just noticed it was happening.
You will get busy and stop noticing again.
Then it will strike you agian for some reason.
This will happen at least several times in your life.
If you want to know what growing up is really like, watch Groundhogs Day.
He just has the advantage of being reminded every day.( And not growing older physicaly)
Chuck

[SpiralDragon]

i have a saying for ladies who think they are getting old...

Women are like wine... the more they age the better they get...

[Kruzin]

I knew i was all grown up when my kids (12yo boy, 11yo girl) where talking about someone I didn't know, and I asked who it was they where talking about, 'cause I didn't recognize the name...they burst out in laughter, cause apparently whoever this person is, he's something of a celebrity in their little bubblegum pop world...and for me to not know who this person is was just beyond their comprehension

[EnglandJoe]

Originally posted by SpiralDragon
i have a saying for ladies who think they are getting old...

Women are like wine... the more they age the better they get...

Weird, just as I was opening this thread I was thinking "fine wine, lizzie, fine wine"

We're obviously tuned into the same frequency

[Kruzin]

And the same day my kids my kids laughed at me for not knowing who their bubblegum pop star was, they asked me several questions about 'Music History' that their music teacher was going over that day. Questions about the Beatles and John Lennon (can you believe its already been 24 years last week since his murder).
'Music History'? gawd, I MUST be old....

[DGhost]

I went through the same shit this year, last year, and the year before that. I'm sure i'll be going through it next year too.

I went through this before my ex and I ended it - the choice to mature a little bit more and become an adult. At the time I thought she had too, but sadly she didn't. And i don't believe she has yet.

I went through that in the aftermath of the breakup with my ex. When I was the most broken and masochistic. when i had turned myself inside out and torn myself to shreds and just wanted to destroy things. and through everything the I saw the need to just grow up.


I went through this when joining the Army. The day I truely decided to join the military was the day that the Columbus Space Shuttle exploded re-entering the atmosphere. I listened to the stories of the astronauts and what they had given up and how hard they had worked just to be there. I looked at them and saw that when they died they at least had the honor of dying doing what they loved and fought for, and that they were better people because of that struggle and passion. And I knew that I could be that way too.

and then after I got back from Iraq, when I was faced with all the haunting memories that I was able to avoid all the time. When I was able to look and finally lay to rest several personal demons. And put away several immature things. And I, for some reason, Also remember watching a sunset and and knowing that everything would be alright.

[Sasq]

@Kevin, they aren't 'kids' they are little people aren't they, I seem to attract them like a magnet.

as others have noted Maturity is an evolutionary thing, but there are moments in our life where we either take a quantum leep forward, or we realize in a brief instant how far we have come.

My first was Feb 29th, 1992 when at 16 I signed my first lease to escape an abusive mother.

The one that sits in my memory the most, was when at 22 as an only child I had to bury my father.

The next one that sticks out is when 15 months ago, I decided to leave my wife - for both out sakes.

Another more recently, when I realized that a small company depends on me, to design and produce their next generation product so they can survive.

Sunsets good, fine wine good. Watching a good sunset with a bottle of good wine and good friends better.

[EnglandJoe]

The most maturing moments of my life have been:

1. Staying with my sister as she lay dying in a hospital bed, and also finding out that although she had been dying she would not die. I really grew up then

2. When my very close friend James died in his sleep, while his mother was in her last stages of dying of cancer, and I had to ring my friends and tell them.

3. Leaving a school I didn't want to be at any more