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  • the british ....

    just found this. Is this true, dear britannians?


    Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

    Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

    Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

    Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

    Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

    Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

    NOT TO MENTION...

    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

    142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

    31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.

    British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

    101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet

    18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

    A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

    And finally.........

    In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the Toilet!

    RULE BRITANNIA!
    "Women don't want to hear a man's opinion, they just want to hear their opinion in a deeper voice."


  • #2
    same one exists for the US
    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." -- Dr. Seuss

    "Always do good. It will gratify some and astonish the rest." ~Mark Twain

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    • #3
      I was gonna say that a lot of that stuff sounds true in the US, but a lot of it has good reason as well.

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      • #4
        543 Brits were admitted to Arts & Entertainment?

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        • #5
          Accident & Emergency.
          DM says: Crunch with Matrox Users@ClimatePrediction.net

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          • #6
            The only in britain part applies to almost any country. Certainly true in Canada and the US.

            The stats are most likely all made up. I don't think anyone is actually keeping stats on injuries due to leaving pins in shirts. Who would report an injury like that?
            Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive, bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine. -- Dr. Perry Cox

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            • #7
              What he said. ^

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              • #8
                [i]The stats are most likely all made up. I don't think anyone is actually keeping stats on injuries due to leaving pins in shirts. Who would report an injury like that? [/B]
                I thought the exact same thing.

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                • #9
                  What I hate about the Brits is the fear they might offend someone if they protest. One of the reasons why our country is going down the tubes.
                  Chief Lemon Buyer no more Linux sucks but not as much
                  Weather nut and sad git.

                  My Weather Page

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                  • #10
                    British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
                    Does "cracker pulling" mean what I *think* it means?

                    Bart
                    Bart

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by agallag
                      The only in britain part applies to almost any country. Certainly true in Canada and the US.

                      The stats are most likely all made up. I don't think anyone is actually keeping stats on injuries due to leaving pins in shirts. Who would report an injury like that?
                      Emergency rooms and doctors offices do report things like this and stats like these are commonly mentioned here in the US news. It's of interest to insurance bean counters, polititions and the makers of Trivial Pursuit
                      "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." -- Dr. Seuss

                      "Always do good. It will gratify some and astonish the rest." ~Mark Twain

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                      • #12
                        When I started reading this I had a brief urge to make a Gurm-esque reply, but then I started laughing, especially at

                        18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

                        and my personal favourite:

                        In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the Toilet!

                        There is one that I take exception to () though:

                        "Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke." WTF not? As a man who lives up to his avatar, if I ever talk a walk under the golden arches, I always get a diet coke. For one thing I don't like "full-fat" coke, and for another its ~300 less calories!
                        FT.

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                        • #13
                          And Diet Coke is even fuller of non-natural chemicals. Personally, I never touch rubbishy drinks if I can avoid it. I went into a Pizza Hut recently, where they had a special offer of a help-yourself mixed salad (excellent), all you can eat pizza (mediocre) and a drink. I ordered water but was told I could have only Coke, Sprite or Fanta and that water would be extra , so I chose Sprite, under protest.
                          Brian (the devil incarnate)

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                          • #14
                            I just drink water

                            German tapwater is of very high quality.

                            AZ
                            There's an Opera in my macbook.

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                            • #15
                              The american stuff (well water in New York has way too much chlorine in it).
                              ______________________________
                              Nothing is impossible, some things are just unlikely.

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