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When you think you're having a bad day?

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  • When you think you're having a bad day?

    Try to remember these.

    Think you're having a bad day?

    A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, like in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric coffee pot. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with her son's baseball bat, breaking his arm in two places. Up until that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

    STILL think you're having a bad day?

    Two animal rights protesters were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two hopeless protesters were trampled to death.

    STILL think you're having a bad day?

    There was a case in one hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11am, regardless of their medical condition.

    This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11 A. M. on Sundays.

    So, a Worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11am, all the doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

    Just when the clock struck 11... Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.

    STILL think you're having a bad day?

    The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

    STILL think you're having a bad day?

    A terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

    There now, feeling better?

    Joel
    Libertarian is still the way to go if we truly want a real change.

    www.lp.org

    ******************************

    System Specs: AMD XP2000+ @1.68GHz(12.5x133), ASUS A7V133-C, 512MB PC133, Matrox Parhelia 128MB, SB Live! 5.1.
    OS: Windows XP Pro.
    Monitor: Cornerstone c1025 @ 1280x960 @85Hz.

  • #2
    Talking of bad days, my firm is having a few at the moment... so I have been sending the following spoof automated reply from any emails from friends today

    All finance personnel have been suspended from employment at the Royal Dutch/Shell Group of Companies following legal advice stemming from recent investigations. All enquiries should be directed to mailto:finance@bp.com . Your email has not been read and has not been forwarded.

    For more information please see http://www.shell.com/investor
    Had quite a few worried phonecalls...
    DM says: Crunch with Matrox Users@ClimatePrediction.net

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    • #3
      Gnep, that was blatantly EVIL!
      (But a jolly good idea!).


      ~~DukeP~~

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      • #4
        .
        Attached Files
        Lawrence

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        • #5
          Well my "email" has now been around several city firms and also half of Shell Centre as well (anonymised where required!) so a fair few laughs have been had... especially as I made up a spoof internal IT email asking people to set this as their out of office autoreply... and guiding them to http://...intranet..../finance/panic for further advice
          DM says: Crunch with Matrox Users@ClimatePrediction.net

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          • #6
            FT.

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            • #7
              Actually just found out that in a couple of law firms it went round (obviously with no mention of my name) as a joke it caused a few near heart-attacks as well
              DM says: Crunch with Matrox Users@ClimatePrediction.net

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              • #8
                a bad day - I have a customer that owes me $25,000.
                last week they said they would send me a cheque.
                got it today.
                it was for $1,500
                and it was post dated!
                Fother-muckers.
                Yeah, well I'm gonna build my own lunar space lander! With blackjack aaaaannd Hookers! Actually, forget the space lander, and the blackjack. Ahhhh forget the whole thing!

                Comment


                • #9
                  ouch.... well in that case never do busines with someone from lebanon.... cause youd get a leser value postdated check that will most likly be turned down by the bank when you do try to cach it beacuse there are no funds in the other persons acount :/
                  "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

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                  • #10
                    But, when you have a bad day, just remember:
                    Once (i.e. you age + 9 months ago), you were the best of millions !


                    Jörg
                    pixar
                    Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow. (James Dean)

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