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  • You know you're from NYC when...

    Got this one from another forum. I know there aren't too many New Yorkers here but it's funny anyway


    You're 35 years old and don't have a driver's license.

    You ride in a subway car with no air conditioning just because there are seats available. You and the other three passengers look at each other and know you have pure grit.

    You take the train home and you know exactly where on the platform the doors will open that will leave you right in front of the exit stairway.

    You know what a "regular" coffee is.

    It's not Manhattan, it's the "City".

    You get upset that a cabbie is obeying all the rules of the road.

    Someone passes out on the train, you mistakenly think he is dead and complain that he had to die on your train because this is going to make you late!

    The rurals scare you, but you're willing to take in strange people as roommates simply to help pay the rent.

    There is no North and South. It's uptown or downtown. If you're
    really from New York you have absolutely no concept of where North and South are.

    You cross the street anywhere but on the corners yelling at the cars for not respecting the fact.

    You move 8,000 miles away, spend 10 years learning the local language and people still know you're from Brooklyn the minute you open your mouth.

    You return after 10 years and the first foods you want are a "real" pizza and "real" bagel.

    A 500 square foot apartment is large.

    Your co-worker commutes 45 minutes by train to a 2,000 square foot house in the suburbs that was the same price as that same 500 square foot apartment of yours that takes only 35 minutes to get to and you think he's a sucker.

    You know the differences between all the different Ray's Pizzas.

    You are not under the mistaken impression that any human being would be able to actually understand a P.A. announcement on the subway.

    You know who Dr. Z is.

    You have at least 50 menus in your apartment, two thirds of which you have neither ordered from nor even heard of.

    You wouldn't bother ordering a pizza in any other city.

    You know that the off the shelf insecticides are just laughing gas to the superior roaches cohabitating with you in the 500 square foot apartment.

    You get ready to order dinner every night and must choose from the 4 major food groups: Chinese, Italian, Spanish, or Indian.

    You're not in the least bit interested in going to Times Square on New Year's Eve.

    Your internal is permanently set to know when Alternate Side of the Street parking regulations are in effect.

    You know what a bodega is.

    You know how to fold the New York Times in half so that you can read it on the subway or bus without knocking off other passenger's hats.

    Someone bumps into you, and you check for your wallet.

    You don't even notice the nice lady walking down the road having a perfectly normal conversation with her self.

    You pay "only" $260 a month to park your car.

    You cringe at hearing people pronounce Houston St. like the city in Texas.

    The presidential visit is a major traffic jam, not an honor.

    Film crews on your block annoy you, not excite you.

    You can nap on the subway and never miss your stop.

    You look forward to riding the subway to read the next installment of "Marisol and Julio".

    The deli guy gives you a straw with any beverage you buy, even if it is beer.

  • #2
    Re: You know you're from NYC when...

    Originally posted by Liquid Snake
    You know who Dr. Z is.
    And for those who don't: http://www.drzamps.com/
    Blah blah blah nick blah blah confusion, blah blah blah blah frog.

    Comment


    • #3
      You are not under the mistaken impression that any human being would be able to actually understand a P.A. announcement on the subway.
      All passengers... mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble ... next stop... mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble ... dead... mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble ...

      When really, the guy said "All passengers must exit the train at the next stop, please wait while train comes to a dead stop before exiting."





      Straws in beer, you crazy yanks.
      Titanium is the new bling!
      (you heard from me first!)

      Comment


      • #4
        Yup. Most announcements are worse than that though. Usually they're like "*mumble mumble mumble mumble* stand clear the closing doors." But we've had new trains coming in (since about 2000) with automated announcements. They're pretty cool.

        And yes, the thing with straws and beer is true. In practically every deli I've been to, the guy gives you a straw with your drink. Even if it's a carton of milk

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Liquid Snake
          And yes, the thing with straws and beer is true. In practically every deli I've been to, the guy gives you a straw with your drink. Even if it's a carton of milk
          Crazy!!!
          Titanium is the new bling!
          (you heard from me first!)

          Comment


          • #6
            in the whole city of vienna there is one single subway driver who actually makes cool/friendly/sarcastic annoucements.

            if it happens while you are riding "his" train, people usually look at each other, puzzled (and smiling).

            ("please use the doors at the other end of the train too, you don't have to get in the first wagon"; "it is monday morning, the sun is shining, you are going to ... and I wish you a nice day"). and he is one of the few drivers who know how to handle the mic.

            mfg
            wulfman
            "Perhaps they communicate by changing colour? Like those sea creatures .."
            "Lobsters?"
            "Really? I didn't know they did that."
            "Oh yes, red means help!"

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            • #7
              I once had a bus driver who was telling jokes. Another time, a bus driver announced the station and all major buses and trains you could take from there ("You can take the U7 to the beautiful district Rudow" or something like that).

              Frankly, I find automated announcement systems boring, distracting ("ding! dang! dong! next stop: xxxxxx") and unromantic.

              I miss Berlin

              AZ
              There's an Opera in my macbook.

              Comment


              • #8
                You are not under the mistaken impression that any human being would be able to actually understand a P.A. announcement on the subway.
                Isn't that because everyone tho unintentionally are reinacting Linda Lovelace's role in Deep Throat?

                and he is one of the few drivers who know how to handle the mic.
                Guess he hasn't seen it



                NYC echo to shouting 'Hello' is STFU
                "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." -- Dr. Seuss

                "Always do good. It will gratify some and astonish the rest." ~Mark Twain

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by ZokesPro
                  Crazy!!!
                  Not quite crazy. In NYC, you expect <I>everything</I> to be dirty. The straws are so you don't put your mouth on whatever that can/bottle/carton is covered in.
                  Gigabyte P35-DS3L with a Q6600, 2GB Kingston HyperX (after *3* bad pairs of Crucial Ballistix 1066), Galaxy 8800GT 512MB, SB X-Fi, some drives, and a Dell 2005fpw. Running WinXP.

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                  • #10
                    NYC echo to shouting 'Hello' is STFU
                    BWAHAHHAHA

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Here they installed automatic anouncements on some buses that are spoken by woman with horrendous voice (the one that synch evil stepmother in cartoons) and who pronounces names of stations in strange way - not the way locals would.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I think automatic announcements are boring too but it beats undecipherable announcements. The recorded announcements on the new trains aren't too bad. But we do have a number of good conductors who do make proper announcements and throw in some humor too. I remember one saying something like "Ladies and gentlemen, do not crowd the first car, we have 11 cars, 33 doors and plenty of seats at no extra charge." Then there was the conductor that read Shakespeare sonnets while crossing the Manhattan Bridge.

                        Originally posted by Wombat
                        Not quite crazy. In NYC, you expect <I>everything</I> to be dirty. The straws are so you don't put your mouth on whatever that can/bottle/carton is covered in.
                        Actually, sometimes the straw is dirtier than the bottle! I usually wash bottles and cans before I drink them if I have the chance.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I'd prefer the driver announcing by voice plus a display for the next station (we had it that way for a while in berlin, then only the display - once all buses were outfitted with them - which was still better than automatic announcements).

                          AZ
                          There's an Opera in my macbook.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by ZokesPro
                            All passengers... mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble ... next stop... mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble ... dead... mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble ...

                            When really, the guy said "All passengers must exit the train at the next stop, please wait while train comes to a dead stop before exiting."





                            Straws in beer, you crazy yanks.
                            ROFLMAO

                            Same way in the Stockholm subways

                            You know that the off the shelf insecticides are just laughing gas to the superior roaches cohabitating with you in the 500 square foot apartment.
                            oh, so that's where they come from.....
                            If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

                            Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

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                            • #15
                              That subway announcement thing is pretty much the same in the Tube in London (unintelligible gibberish)
                              [size=1]D3/\/7YCR4CK3R
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