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  • US History

    It was the first day of school and a new student named Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.

    The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death?"

    She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Martinez, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."

    "Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'"?

    Again, no response except from Martinez: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863.", said Martinez.

    The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Martinez, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."

    She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans." "Who said that?" she demanded.

    Martinez put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."

    At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

    The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"

    Again, Martinez says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

    Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

    Martinez jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

    Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."

    Martinez frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."

    The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're in BIG trouble!"

    Martinez said, "Saddam Hussein 2003."
    Brian (the devil incarnate)

  • #2
    ROFLMAO
    Join MURCs Distributed Computing effort for Rosetta@Home and help fight Alzheimers, Cancer, Mad Cow disease and rising oil prices.
    [...]the pervading principle and abiding test of good breeding is the requirement of a substantial and patent waste of time. - Veblen

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    • #3
      ROFLMFAO!!!!!

      Jammrock
      “Inside every sane person there’s a madman struggling to get out”
      –The Light Fantastic, Terry Pratchett

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      • #4
        ROFLMAO!
        If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

        Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

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        • #5
          LOL!
          Why SysAdmins like Unix?
          unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep.

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          • #6
            We have enough youth - What we need is a fountain of smart!


            i7-920, 6GB DDR3-1600, HD4870X2, Dell 27" LCD

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            • #7
              Bravo!
              Hey, Donny! We got us a German who wants to die for his country... Oblige him. - Lt. Aldo Raine

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              • #8
                Originally posted by MultimediaMan
                Bravo!
                Allow me to join
                "For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism."

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                • #9
                  Thats a keep'r
                  -We stop learning when We die, and some
                  people just don't know They're dead yet!

                  Member of the COC!
                  Minister of Confused Knightly Defence (MCKD)

                  Food for thought...
                  - Remember when naps were a bad thing?
                  - Remember 3 is the magic number....

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                  • #10
                    I remember seeing the same joke back around Fall of 2001 with Bin Laden instead of Saddam.
                    Why is it called tourist season, if we can't shoot at them?

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                    • #11
                      Still good tho!!

                      ~~DukeP~~

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                      • #12
                        HAHAHA!!! I likey!
                        Titanium is the new bling!
                        (you heard from me first!)

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