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  • Warning Labels

    Due to increasing product liability litigation, American liquor
    manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-girlfriends are really dying to have you call them at four in the morning.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you're invisible or worse, bulletproof!

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may disappear.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading factor in having a coyote date.

    WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may mack you tink you can tipe real gode...

    Jammrock
    “Inside every sane person there’s a madman struggling to get out”
    –The Light Fantastic, Terry Pratchett

  • #2
    We have enough youth - What we need is a fountain of smart!


    i7-920, 6GB DDR3-1600, HD4870X2, Dell 27" LCD

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    • #3

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      • #4
        ROFL
        If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

        Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

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        • #5
          The last one..

          ~~DukeP~~

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          • #6
            HAHA, great!
            "I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned."

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            • #7
              "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

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              • #8
                - I can relate!
                Lawrence

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                • #9
                  Sounds like the warning needed for the bank robber who was caught in the bank's video cameras and arrested immediately afterward.

                  When captured, he could only mumble "I don't understand, I used the juice".

                  Apparently he was told that rubbing lemon juice on his face made him unrecognizable to the video cameras...

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                  • #10
                    Hehe.

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