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Return of the King

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  • Return of the King

    Warning! Spoilers ahead! For those people who refuse to take an interest in literature that's older than they are...

    -------------------------

    They defeat Sauron.

    Frodo loses a finger but otherwise escapes unscathed.

    Saruman bites it.

    Gollum falls into the volcano, with Frodo's finger.

    Theoden is slain.

    Eowyn defeats the Nazgul (with a little help from Merry).

    Denethor dies, tries to take Faramir with him, fails.

    Arwen & Aragorn get hitched.

    Lots of orcs die.

    Sam & Frodo beat a giant spider.

    -------------------------

    - Gurm

    P.S. This was a piece of satire aimed squarely at Dave, involuntary thread-censorer.
    The Internet - where men are men, women are men, and teenage girls are FBI agents!

    I'm the least you could do
    If only life were as easy as you
    I'm the least you could do, oh yeah
    If only life were as easy as you
    I would still get screwed

  • #2
    That's mean

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    • #3
      Shucks Gurm you spoiled it.

      Oh I forgot I read the book.
      Chief Lemon Buyer no more Linux sucks but not as much
      Weather nut and sad git.

      My Weather Page

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      • #4
        Nice summary, you forgot to mention one thing though:

        --- Spoiler Warning!!! ---

        Eowyn and Faramir get hitched as well

        -----

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        • #5
          Gurm

          Can you provide a little more space between the spoiler line and spoilers itself? Some of us are on really high res screens and can see quite far down a page, so that one or two line gap isn't really enough.

          J1NG

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          • #6
            even at 1024 you can see everything except the last line, to bad i already read the book twice...
            Main Machine: Intel Q6600@3.33, Abit IP-35 E, 4 x Geil 2048MB PC2-6400-CL4, Asus Geforce 8800GTS 512MB@700/2100, 150GB WD Raptor, Highpoint RR2640, 3x Seagate LP 1.5TB (RAID5), NEC-3500 DVD+/-R(W), Antec SLK3700BQE case, BeQuiet! DarkPower Pro 530W

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            • #7
              Only twice !!!!
              Chief Lemon Buyer no more Linux sucks but not as much
              Weather nut and sad git.

              My Weather Page

              Comment


              • #8
                Oh shucks darn lessee...

                MORE SPOILERS AHEAD:

                -------------------













                Yeah Faramir and Eowyn hook up. *SCHWING*

                Legolas and Gimli ... err ... form a lasting "bond".

                Everyone except Merry, Pippin, Aragorn and Arwen goes over the sea to the undying lands. Yeah, even Legolas and Gimli eventually.

                Sam hooks up with Rosie, has little Samlings. Names one Elanor (played by Sean Astin's real-life daughter, no less!), after the flowers that ... never ... made it into the first movie. *sigh*

                - Gurm
                The Internet - where men are men, women are men, and teenage girls are FBI agents!

                I'm the least you could do
                If only life were as easy as you
                I'm the least you could do, oh yeah
                If only life were as easy as you
                I would still get screwed

                Comment


                • #9
                  OMG, that means they don't just end the movie with the destruction of the ring?!? WOOOT!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Sorry it's still here.

                    I'm just thinking on suitable punishment.
                    Chief Lemon Buyer no more Linux sucks but not as much
                    Weather nut and sad git.

                    My Weather Page

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Ethiopian sollution ?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Way down inside.
                        Who lotta love.

                        By the way I've still got the ring.
                        Chief Lemon Buyer no more Linux sucks but not as much
                        Weather nut and sad git.

                        My Weather Page

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Return of the King

                          Originally posted by Gurm
                          people who refuse to take an interest in literature that's older than they are...

                          Speak for yourself
                          Brian (the devil incarnate)

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                          • #14
                            didnt Frodo and Sam-wise get hitched too?

                            after reading this i was sure it was destiny
                            Better to let one think you are a fool, than speak and prove it


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                            • #15
                              They won't end with the destruction of the ring, no. There's too much wrap-up. At the VERY least, they'll have the marriage of Aragorn & Arwen, the betrothal of Faramir and Eowyn, and the return to the shire (so Samwise & Rosie can hook up). Then everyone will pile on boats to the undying lands.

                              BUT... it's really up in the air whether they'll have the "scouring of the shire" or not, and it would be a CRYIN' shame if they left it out.

                              - Gurm
                              The Internet - where men are men, women are men, and teenage girls are FBI agents!

                              I'm the least you could do
                              If only life were as easy as you
                              I'm the least you could do, oh yeah
                              If only life were as easy as you
                              I would still get screwed

                              Comment

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