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Aircraft repair logs

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  • Aircraft repair logs

    After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
    >conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during
    >the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and
    >correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of
    >the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe
    >sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews
    >and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged
    >maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and
    >the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is
    >the only major airline that has never had an accident. (P = The problem
    >logged by the pilot. S = The solution and action taken by the
    >engineers.)
    >
    >P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    >S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
    >
    >P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    >S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
    >
    >
    >
    >P: Something loose in cockpit.
    >S: Something tightened in cockpit.
    >
    >P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    >S: Live bugs on back-order.
    >
    >P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
    >descent.
    >S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
    >
    >P: Mouse in cockpit.
    >S: Cat installed.
    >
    >P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    >S: Evidence removed.
    >
    >P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    >S: DME volume set to more believable level.
    >
    >P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    >S: That's what they're there for.
    >
    >P: IFF inoperative.
    >S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
    >
    >P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    >S: Suspect you're right.
    >
    >P: Number 3 engine missing.
    >S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
    >
    >P: Aircraft handles funny.
    >S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
    >
    >P: Target radar hums.
    >S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
    >
    >P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
    >pounding on something with a hammer.
    >
    >S: Took hammer away from midget.
    We have enough youth - What we need is a fountain of smart!


    i7-920, 6GB DDR3-1600, HD4870X2, Dell 27" LCD

  • #2

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    • #3
      OK.. so I missed it the first time around.. still funny though
      We have enough youth - What we need is a fountain of smart!


      i7-920, 6GB DDR3-1600, HD4870X2, Dell 27" LCD

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      • #4
        We never wrote stuff like that... I wish we had.


        Jeff
        -We stop learning when We die, and some
        people just don't know They're dead yet!

        Member of the COC!
        Minister of Confused Knightly Defence (MCKD)

        Food for thought...
        - Remember when naps were a bad thing?
        - Remember 3 is the magic number....

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        • #5
          ROTFLMAO
          If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

          Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

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          • #6
            P: Aircraft handles funny.
            S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
            LOL
            Life is a bed of roses. Everyone else sees the roses, you are the one being gored by the thorns.

            AMD PhenomII555@B55(Quadcore-3.2GHz) Gigabyte GA-890FXA-UD5 Kingston 1x2GB Generic 8400GS512MB WD1.5TB LGMulti-Drive Dell2407WFP
            ***Matrox G400DH 32MB still chugging along happily in my other pc***

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            • #7
              ROFL!

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