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Man's best friend

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  • Man's best friend

    A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

    After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like Mother of Pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

    He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"

    "This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

    "Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.

    "Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

    "Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked.

    "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

    The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

    After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

    "Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"

    "Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there". The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."

    "How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog.

    "There should be a bowl by the pump." They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

    The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he
    gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.

    "What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

    "This is Heaven," he answered.

    "Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

    "Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."

    "Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

    "No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind."
    Core2 Duo E7500 2.93, Asus P5Q Pro Turbo, 4gig 1066 DDR2, 1gig Asus ENGTS250, SB X-Fi Gamer ,WD Caviar Black 1tb, Plextor PX-880SA, Dual Samsung 2494s

  • #2
    Excellent!

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    • #3
      Great story.

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      • #4
        If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

        Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

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        • #5
          Good story

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          • #6
            Cute.
            DM says: Crunch with Matrox Users@ClimatePrediction.net

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            • #7
              GREAT!!

              Dr. Mordrid
              Dr. Mordrid
              ----------------------------
              An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

              I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1,250 fps

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              • #8
                Reminds me of a Native American (Kato?) creation myth.
                God created the world while he was walking his dog.
                Of course this implies that the dog was already created or, was also a god.
                chuck
                Chuck
                秋音的爸爸

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                • #9
                  Us cat people find this offensive.













                  (kidding)

                  Gpar_
                  The Internet - where men are men, women are men, and teenage girls are FBI agents!

                  I'm the least you could do
                  If only life were as easy as you
                  I'm the least you could do, oh yeah
                  If only life were as easy as you
                  I would still get screwed

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by cjolley
                    Reminds me of a Native American (Kato?) creation myth.
                    God created the world while he was walking his dog.
                    Of course this implies that the dog was already created or, was also a god.
                    chuck
                    In many households, the dog IS the GOD! Is that why one is the other spelt backwards?

                    I am a dog-lover (not to be taken too literally ) and have had dogs all my life up to about 1980, when our old champion Appenzeller Mountain Dog went to where the roads are paved with bones and trees grew every metre. At that time, I was working 18 h/day establishing a young company and I simply had no time to devote to training another one. (IMHO, an untrained god is anathema and many dogs fall into this category.) About 4 months ago, a stray puppy decided to adopt us, in a pitiful state. He is now an estimated 6.5 months old, has a comical appearance with his fur growing every which way, full of healthy bounding energy, gives us much pleasure and the occasional despair. He has a strong character, quite willful at times, but reasonably intelligent and quick on the uptake. His one weakness is food; he is a gourmand par excellence and certainly no gourmet He was a mere 4 kg when he first came to us: today, he is ~17 kg and still growing, but athletically slim. Please don't ask me what race he is, I have no idea of his antecedents: there is no single breed that is identifiable in him, a true 57 Varieties. For the anecdote, on his second visit to the vet, it was a different vet who gave him his jabs and he asked me what breed he was. When I said a cross, he replied that he thought he must be an obscure exotic pure-breed, because he had never seen another dog look like him, least of all a mutt.
                    Brian (the devil incarnate)

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                    • #11
                      Post a pic for us, Brian.. let's see him.

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Brian Ellis
                        In many households, the dog IS the GOD! Is that why one is the other spelt backwards?
                        That's the way it is in our house!!

                        Spike, our 112lb Rhodesian Ridgeback/Rottweiler mix, has appointed himself "designated mother" to all the small children that find their way into our house.

                        Erik, our 5 year old, finds himself "protected" at night by a very large guardian angel at his bedroom door. When he's outside Spike is right underfoot and gets between Erik and anyone who comes at him too fast. Nothing nasty, but definitely a reminder not to try anything with "his boy"

                        When Brennen, our 2 year old grandson, and his mother come over the dog glues himself to the kid for the entire visit then gets royally ticked off when Sabrina wants to take him home.

                        As for Kaden, 4 month old grandson #2; he and his parents live with us....so Spike can "mother" him to his hearts content, which means every second Kaden's in his sight.



                        Even the parents have to pass Spikes "security check" before they have access to their own d****d kids, and it's been that way since they were born

                        About the only diffrerence betwen Spike and the other "people" in the house is that he doesn't eat dinner at the table....yet.

                        Dr. Mordrid
                        Last edited by Dr Mordrid; 19 August 2003, 02:43.
                        Dr. Mordrid
                        ----------------------------
                        An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

                        I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1,250 fps

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                        • #13
                          As requested. These are taken from an interlaced video, so the quality could be better.
                          Brian (the devil incarnate)

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                          • #14
                            This is what he was like when he first rang our doorbell for help, at a guestimated 10 weeks. He was so weak and covered with parasites that Margaret had to hold him up for the photo. I doubt whether he would have lasted more than a few days, he was just skin and bones. Remember those horror photos taken at Belsen?

                            He just walked up to our front door, flopped down and whimpered: how could we do anything else?

                            You can see here why we called him Beardie, although the tuft is a little less obvious now,
                            Brian (the devil incarnate)

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                            • #15
                              Cute dog.. yes, he does look like a Heinz. Still kinda a skinny puppy though..

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