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Bad dirty joke time
I heard this joke on a morning talk show radio program, told by Jesse James Dupree of Jackyl. Time for a little background story ... Jesse James Dupree was invited on to the Tom Greene Show on MTV (Tom Greene being the shock Canadian comedian who knocked up Drew Barrymore and starred in such quality films like Freddie Got Fingered and Road Trip). Jesse James, being a self-proclaimed "Outdoor Dog", decided to he'd do something that would make Tom Greene proud of him.
Jesse James has something called the chainsaw guitar:
...which Tom Greene wanted to showcase on his show. Jesse James thought it would be funny to carve his name into Tom Greene's desk with it and make it into a modern art piece with a few minor adjustments. So he did.
Tom Greene got so pissed off that Jesse James carved up his "$15000 desk", that he practically stopped the show and threatened lawsuit against Jesse James for damages. This from a guy who makes a living playing very sick and cruel jokes to other people. Needless to say, the rock station was making fun of Tom Greene, saying he could deal it out, but couldn't take it.
During the interview Jesse James told a joke to explain why he calls himself an "outdoor dog":
An tiny little indoor dog (ID) and a big old outdoor dog (OD) are sitting in a vetrenarian's kennel and get to talking. The OD finally asks, "what are you in for?"
The ID says, "I was having a really bad day and someone slammed a door. It startled me and I peed on the nice new sofa. When my owner started yelling at me I ran off and crapped on the carpet by accident. They tried to catch me and a few things got knocked over and broken. They got so mad at me they decided to put me down."
"That really sucks," the OD said.
"What are you in for?" the ID asked.
"Well you see, I'm a big old outdoor, and have been one all my life. One day I decided to see what it was like indoors, so I broke through the screen on the window and got inside. I tore apart the couch, smashed some china and started marking my territory all over the house. While I was walking around I saw the misses bending over cleaning the bathtub and decided, well hell, might as well have some fun while I was indoors. So I jumped on and had at it."
"So you're in here to be put down, too?" the ID asked.
"Hell no," the OD replied, "I'm here to get groomed."
Jammrock
Jesse James has something called the chainsaw guitar:
...which Tom Greene wanted to showcase on his show. Jesse James thought it would be funny to carve his name into Tom Greene's desk with it and make it into a modern art piece with a few minor adjustments. So he did.
Tom Greene got so pissed off that Jesse James carved up his "$15000 desk", that he practically stopped the show and threatened lawsuit against Jesse James for damages. This from a guy who makes a living playing very sick and cruel jokes to other people. Needless to say, the rock station was making fun of Tom Greene, saying he could deal it out, but couldn't take it.
During the interview Jesse James told a joke to explain why he calls himself an "outdoor dog":
An tiny little indoor dog (ID) and a big old outdoor dog (OD) are sitting in a vetrenarian's kennel and get to talking. The OD finally asks, "what are you in for?"
The ID says, "I was having a really bad day and someone slammed a door. It startled me and I peed on the nice new sofa. When my owner started yelling at me I ran off and crapped on the carpet by accident. They tried to catch me and a few things got knocked over and broken. They got so mad at me they decided to put me down."
"That really sucks," the OD said.
"What are you in for?" the ID asked.
"Well you see, I'm a big old outdoor, and have been one all my life. One day I decided to see what it was like indoors, so I broke through the screen on the window and got inside. I tore apart the couch, smashed some china and started marking my territory all over the house. While I was walking around I saw the misses bending over cleaning the bathtub and decided, well hell, might as well have some fun while I was indoors. So I jumped on and had at it."
"So you're in here to be put down, too?" the ID asked.
"Hell no," the OD replied, "I'm here to get groomed."
Jammrock
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