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If you want a laugth watch the England Cricket team

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  • If you want a laugth watch the England Cricket team

    They're playing South Africa and it's embarrasing.

    South Africa's opening Batsman has only batted three times so far and scored well over 500 runs and he's still batting.

    Weather saved us in the first test but with a promised heat wave only sunstroke can save us.

    What upsets me there doesn't seem any passion or hurt in the England squad. When it goes for four, are they angry? No they just laugth. Had a bad day in the field? Yeh just laugth and joke when you come off.

    Can't understand it, playing for country should be the biggest honour you can have. When you mess up it, should hurt you, you should be angry with yourself, you should want to do more.

    Perhaps I should dig up the wicket or should England take up rounders instead.
    Chief Lemon Buyer no more Linux sucks but not as much
    Weather nut and sad git.

    My Weather Page

  • #2
    Yeup - looks like Ntini may not be the only South African to add his name to the 'whos-who" plaque there during this series if thats the way England plans on doing things.
    Lawrence

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    • #3
      Greame Smith now does he look like the future worlds best batman or are we just making him look good.
      I think the man has got talent a lot. Certainly better than Lara dunno about Tendaulker.
      Chief Lemon Buyer no more Linux sucks but not as much
      Weather nut and sad git.

      My Weather Page

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      • #4
        Perhaps some of you English types would like to explain the whole "Cricket" thing to those of us who are not enlightened.
        I have seen it, and know some of the terms.
        "Sticky wicket eh wot??" and all.
        But what does any of it mean!!!???"
        Thanks,
        Chuck
        Chuck
        秋音的爸爸

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        • #5
          Originally posted by cjolley
          Perhaps some of you English types would like to explain the whole "Cricket" thing to those of us who are not enlightened.
          I have seen it, and know some of the terms.
          "Sticky wicket eh wot??" and all.
          But what does any of it mean!!!???"
          Thanks,
          Chuck
          Don't ask us we can't play the game.

          Ask an Aussie, West Indian, South African, Pakistani or an Indian. We haven't a clue.

          Sticky wicket is where the ball comes of the ground in an erratic manner. Or basically an excuse for a crap shot.
          Last edited by The PIT; 1 August 2003, 13:25.
          Chief Lemon Buyer no more Linux sucks but not as much
          Weather nut and sad git.

          My Weather Page

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          • #6
            Originally posted by The PIT
            Don't ask us we can't play the game.
            So I gathered from your comments


            But how is it possible to score 500 runs in three at bats?
            How long does a game last? Days?
            chuck
            Chuck
            秋音的爸爸

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            • #7
              Tests last for five days unless it rains so you may loose a day or more. You both have two innings unless your first innings is so large that the team batting second cannot pass it in two attempts. Or if they bat first but cannot pass your first innings total with their total score.

              We've played one and a bit tests against South Africa. Mr G Smith has batted three times for once out. The other time south Africa declared. In the first test match in the first innings Greame Smith scored 277 before getting bored and getting out. I think he scored 80+ not out in the 2nd innings and is 200 + plus not out so far.

              Batting averages are from when you were last bowled. This can be misleading for example you can have an average of 100 but never scored more than 10.
              Chief Lemon Buyer no more Linux sucks but not as much
              Weather nut and sad git.

              My Weather Page

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              • #8
                I had this terrible feeling that you would answer me.
                But then I read your post and realized that you had just typed some random gibberish to be funny.
                Ha Ha!
                No really, tell me about cricket.

                See, I don't even know the object of the game.

                Basketball -> get the ball in the hoop
                Football (American) -> carry the ball across the goal
                Football(Soccer) -> get the ball into the goal

                Cricket -> ????????

                chuck
                Chuck
                秋音的爸爸

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                • #9
                  Okay in simple terms.

                  Hit the ball to the boundary and don't let it hit your wicket. Hit it often and you won't loose.

                  Correction football (Soccer) get the ball into the goal.

                  Football american: Some sort of puffy bastard of rugby.

                  Baseball: Girlie rounders.
                  Chief Lemon Buyer no more Linux sucks but not as much
                  Weather nut and sad git.

                  My Weather Page

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                  • #10
                    Well I thought was going to see Smith break Lara's test record. Sadly not but perhaps the next test.
                    Chief Lemon Buyer no more Linux sucks but not as much
                    Weather nut and sad git.

                    My Weather Page

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                    • #11
                      Object of the game: to win.

                      Note the use of the word 'game'. Like football, rounders, rugby, baseball, basketball, shove-ha'penny, billiards, snooker and Scrabble, cricket is a game. None of these are sports. Even athletics are games. It is not the Olympic sports that will be held in Athens next year, it is the Olympic Games.

                      Ted Moult used to say there are only five sports: huntin', shootin', fishin', coursin' and courtin'. Of these, only the last named is universally appealin'!

                      As a game, and like all games, cricket should be played for the pleasure of the participants. Unfortunately, games have become big business, and are no longer played for the pleasure of participating but to gain big bucks for the players and as many other parasites as can jump onto the bandwagon.

                      I would not grieve an iota if all "professional" games were relegated to the dustbin (trashcan) and a universal law introduced promoting pure amateurism for all games, where the participants are all gentlemen/gentlewomen who get pleasure out of participating and transmit that pleasure to the few spectators who are enthusiastic enough to follow a team.

                      I like(d) cricket. I played for my school, for my regiment in the army and for two employers' teams and I never got a sou for what was medium level cricket, but I enjoyed playing. I get little enjoyment watching modern test cricket on the box. When I was a kid, the Aussies played a friendly match against Scotland at Murrayfield (more usually known for rugby). I took great pleasure in watching how Don Bradman turned it into a skilful game which only those who know how to play could appreciate, because it is a poor spectator pastime for the non-initiated. Cricket was(is?) rarely played in Scotland, outside the Public School system (fee-paying as opposed to public schools which were non-fee-paying ). As a result, there were, perhaps, 50 spectators for that great match. It mattered not that the Ozs beat the living bejabers out of the Scottish team - it was the game that counted in those days.
                      Brian (the devil incarnate)

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by The PIT
                        Okay in simple terms.

                        Hit the ball to the boundary and don't let it hit your wicket. Hit it often and you won't loose.
                        etc.....

                        boundary?
                        wicket?
                        Lara? (Croft?)
                        pass it? (it what?)
                        batted three times for once out?
                        80+ not out?
                        bowled?
                        you can have an average of 100 but never scored more than 10? (alternate universe?)
                        ball comes off the ground?
                        When it goes for four?
                        field placings?


                        The more anyone talks about Cricket, the more confusing it gets.
                        My best friend when I was 6 - 9 years old had an English mother and even he couldn't explain it.
                        chuck
                        Last edited by cjolley; 2 August 2003, 11:22.
                        Chuck
                        秋音的爸爸

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                        • #13
                          Dead simple but just don't ask me about field placings.
                          Chief Lemon Buyer no more Linux sucks but not as much
                          Weather nut and sad git.

                          My Weather Page

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                          • #14
                            CJ, let me try... (i am also on your side most of the time) I understand soccer since that is what i played.. I have played rounders (something like baseball and cricket) and have watched cricket on many occasions. You just need to watch the game a bit to understand it.

                            Simplest things to know, you can get all the nuances from Pit

                            Aim Of the Game :-> Knockdown your opponents' wicket
                            Wicket :-> The three sticks standing upright

                            The field :-> Wickets in the centre with an expanding rings of circles with each circle denoting a certain number of runs
                            Boundary :-> The largest circle or the outmost ring

                            If you are playing as the batsman, your wicket is behind you and your opponent in front of you, bowls the ball trying to hit your wicket, (then do as what Pit said) hit the ball hard and as far as you can as many times you can and in as many directions as possible (to confuse the ball catchers).

                            The difficult part in understanding is the way the game is organised. One team bats and when everyone has been caught the team switches position (Hitters -> catchers)
                            Some confident teams prefer to hit first so that they can garner the highest number of runs with the least number of players used (1. to demoralise the opponents as they have to overtake your high score 2. less players used means more players who are not tired when you play catchers)
                            However some teams prefer to catch first especially if they have good bowlers. With just a couple of good bowlers(throwers) who can spin or twist the ball with skill/speed/strength, you can take out the entire team before they can even reach 100 runs.

                            The decision to play which position when the coin toss is won lies with the captain of the team. So the captain must be the guy with brains. You must always play to your team's strengths rather than your opponents' weakness. In fact, the last match i watched was the India-Australia match in the Cricket World Cup. I felt Australia would win but the game would have been much more exciting if the indian captain has chose otherwise

                            PS :-> Pit can you correct me if i am wrong cos i dont play cricket myself
                            Plus i agree england are no longer exciting to watch. I'd rather catch SouthAfrica/Australia/SriLanka and India/Pakistan when they play each other
                            Last edited by Belwarrior; 2 August 2003, 21:28.
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                            • #15
                              Aim of the bowler -> knock the bails off the top of the wicket.

                              Aim of the batter - stop that happening while hitting that little red (or white for night games) ball as far as you can.

                              if the ball is hit without touching the ground and lands outside the oval = 6 runs. if it rolls along the ground = 4 runs.

                              Alternative is the batters run the length of the pitch = 1 run.

                              Edit - this is sort of like stealing a base, both batsmen have to run, and if the are outside the crease (1 yard from memory in front of the wicket) if they are stumped (ie the ball is used to knock the bails off) then they are out

                              The game has similar to fowl ball. IE if the ball goes wide (not aimed at the wicket (plate)) its a wide and is ignored. The ball is allowed to bounce in the pitch - hence the use of 'spinner bowlers'
                              A good spinner bowler can bounce the ball just before the batsman and flick the ball up in a direction the batsman isn't prepared for and knock the wickets out. (or hit his leg, which if it is in front of the wicket is considered LBW (Lef before Wicket) and has the same effect as knocking the bails off (IE out).

                              4 Day games can be a little tedious for the un-initiated. so try to catch a 1 day game. limit 50 overs (6 balls per over) each team. Usually has the batsmen and bowlers taking more risks.

                              Dan
                              Juu nin to iro


                              English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark alleys, knocks them over, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.

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