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Ok, here's another that should go in the Daily BBQ.
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So I'm driving down the highway on the 4th, and I see HUGE signs overhead. Electronic signs.
And you know what they say?
Now this brings back memories of another recent sign blitz in this fine state (and MANY OTHERS across the country):
So I've come to the conclusion that unfair, unpopular, and questionably legal new laws are now being pitched to the public via bad grade-school rhymes.
The fact that seatbelts "save lives" is moot when you consider that FORCING people to wear them is HIGHLY dubious. I am firmly opposed to ANY law that purports to protect me from myself. If I want to wear no helmet and a bathing suit while riding a motorcycle... so be it.
If I want to skydive, nobody tries to stop me or tether me to the plane. LOTS OF PEOPLE die each year jumping from planes, but nobody is trying to outlaw it.
What business is it of the government's if I choose to drive without a seatbelt? None.
Do I ever? Hell no. I always wear my belt. But I REALLY dislike being "forced" to.
The new drunk driving laws are similarly silly. Do I ever drive drunk? No. Never. Drove "tipsy" once when I was too young to be drinking in the first place, and only had to go 2 blocks. NEVER AGAIN. But honestly, the new laws are a bit harsh and VERY unpopular.
Driving with a 0.08 BAC (the equivalent of a couple good stiff drinks) can get you arrested, and thrown in jail for up to 2 years! 2 DAMN YEARS! Now, I confess that for my wife, 0.08 would be too damn drunk to WALK, nevermind drive. But for a reasonable-sized individual with a reasonable alcohol tolerance, 0.08 is silly.
I've always questioned the sanity of lawmakers and police regarding alcohol. I've been told repeatedly that 10 shots of vodka will cause instant unconsciousness, and 15 will kill you. Tell that to the 25 I downed one evening. Don't remember much about it, but we WERE keeping count. For most of my college career, a TYPICAL night consisted of well over "10 shots".
Most people I know that drink more than casually can down a couple 6-packs in rapid succession without terribly adverse effect. I don't want them driving (remember that's about a 0.25 BAC!) but they're not "unconscious" or "dead".
So the entire thinking of the entire anti-drinking community is HIGHLY suspect when they can't get even the most basic facts straight.
So, now that we've gotten all that out of the way, I think I'm going to jump on the bandwagon.
Let's take EVERY really questionable law and make a silly rhyme.
How about the "statutory rape" law? You know, the one that says that if you're a college junior and you have sex with a freshman you can go to jail for 10 years? (If she's 17...)
I admit, it needs some work. But it has potential!
How about the federal drug laws (which are not only foolish, they're unconstitutional!)?
There, that's PURE poetry. How about the anti-sodomy laws? I realize those were struck down by the supreme court, but states will try to find a way, I'm sure... and considering that blowjobs from women are ALSO sodomy...
I could grow to like this job. It is a job - someone, somewhere is being paid MILLIONS to come up with these ****ing things. Let's all get in on the action.
- Gurm
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So I'm driving down the highway on the 4th, and I see HUGE signs overhead. Electronic signs.
And you know what they say?
New tougher DUI laws in effect.
You booze, you cruise, you lose!
Don't drink and drive.
You booze, you cruise, you lose!
Don't drink and drive.
Click it or ticket!
The fact that seatbelts "save lives" is moot when you consider that FORCING people to wear them is HIGHLY dubious. I am firmly opposed to ANY law that purports to protect me from myself. If I want to wear no helmet and a bathing suit while riding a motorcycle... so be it.
If I want to skydive, nobody tries to stop me or tether me to the plane. LOTS OF PEOPLE die each year jumping from planes, but nobody is trying to outlaw it.
What business is it of the government's if I choose to drive without a seatbelt? None.
Do I ever? Hell no. I always wear my belt. But I REALLY dislike being "forced" to.
The new drunk driving laws are similarly silly. Do I ever drive drunk? No. Never. Drove "tipsy" once when I was too young to be drinking in the first place, and only had to go 2 blocks. NEVER AGAIN. But honestly, the new laws are a bit harsh and VERY unpopular.
Driving with a 0.08 BAC (the equivalent of a couple good stiff drinks) can get you arrested, and thrown in jail for up to 2 years! 2 DAMN YEARS! Now, I confess that for my wife, 0.08 would be too damn drunk to WALK, nevermind drive. But for a reasonable-sized individual with a reasonable alcohol tolerance, 0.08 is silly.
I've always questioned the sanity of lawmakers and police regarding alcohol. I've been told repeatedly that 10 shots of vodka will cause instant unconsciousness, and 15 will kill you. Tell that to the 25 I downed one evening. Don't remember much about it, but we WERE keeping count. For most of my college career, a TYPICAL night consisted of well over "10 shots".
Most people I know that drink more than casually can down a couple 6-packs in rapid succession without terribly adverse effect. I don't want them driving (remember that's about a 0.25 BAC!) but they're not "unconscious" or "dead".
So the entire thinking of the entire anti-drinking community is HIGHLY suspect when they can't get even the most basic facts straight.
So, now that we've gotten all that out of the way, I think I'm going to jump on the bandwagon.
Let's take EVERY really questionable law and make a silly rhyme.
How about the "statutory rape" law? You know, the one that says that if you're a college junior and you have sex with a freshman you can go to jail for 10 years? (If she's 17...)
Stick it in her, in jail by dinner!
How about the federal drug laws (which are not only foolish, they're unconstitutional!)?
California can kiss our ass, we'll lock you up for smoking grass!
Suck a dick, get whacked with a night stick!
- Gurm
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