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SAT answers - There are some good ones in here!!

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  • SAT answers - There are some good ones in here!!

    --The following questions and answers were collated from SAT tests given to 16 yr. old students! Don't laugh too hard - one of them could be president someday

    Q: Name the four seasons.

    A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

    Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

    A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

    Q: How is dew formed?

    A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

    Q: What is a planet?

    A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

    Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?

    A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon,and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

    Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?

    A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

    Q: What are steroids?

    A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

    Q: What happens to your body as you age?

    A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

    Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

    A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

    Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

    A: Premature death.

    Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

    A: Keep it in the cow.

    Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)

    A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.

    Q: What is the Fibula?

    A: A small lie.

    Q: What does "varicose" mean?

    A: Nearby.

    Q: What is the most common form of birth control?

    A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

    Q: Give the meaning of the term "Cesarean Section."

    A: The cesarean section is a district in Rome.

    Q: What is a seizure?

    A: A Roman emperor.

    Q: What is a terminal illness?

    A: When you are sick at the airport.

    Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

    A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

    Q: What does the word "benign" mean?

    A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

    Q: What is a turbine?

    A: Something an Arab wears on his head.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." -- Dr. Seuss

    "Always do good. It will gratify some and astonish the rest." ~Mark Twain

  • #2
    LOL, this one is good...

    Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

    A: Keep it in the cow.

    Comment


    • #3
      I poured myself a glass of water today and low and behold, a dead sheep!!!!

      Should have used my Brita filter.
      Titanium is the new bling!
      (you heard from me first!)

      Comment


      • #4
        you were lucky!!.. I had to remove a canoeist from the bathtub this morning
        We have enough youth - What we need is a fountain of smart!


        i7-920, 6GB DDR3-1600, HD4870X2, Dell 27" LCD

        Comment


        • #5
          Try a gator in your garden hose sometime
          "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." -- Dr. Seuss

          "Always do good. It will gratify some and astonish the rest." ~Mark Twain

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: SAT answers - There are some good ones in here!!

            Originally posted by Greebe
            Don't laugh too hard - one of them could be president someday
            Hrmm How did you get a hold off G.W.B's test result!
            According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless...

            Comment


            • #7
              I feel compelled to point out that the SAT's are all multiple choice questions with the exception of some of the math sections. The SAT II's have some short answer and some essay type questions depending on the specific subject covered, but nothing as simple as these questions.

              Having said that, they're no less funny, but they are not SAT questions.

              Ian
              Primary System:
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              "Any sufficiently advanced technology will be indistinguishable from magic." --Arthur C. Clarke

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              • #8
                Yeah, but still funny.
                "I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned."

                Comment


                • #9
                  Personally, i think a lot of them are too clever for 16y olds!
                  The Welsh support two teams when it comes to rugby. Wales of course, and anyone else playing England

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Substantially.

                    While funny, the entire thing is fake, and probably written by one person.

                    - Gurm
                    The Internet - where men are men, women are men, and teenage girls are FBI agents!

                    I'm the least you could do
                    If only life were as easy as you
                    I'm the least you could do, oh yeah
                    If only life were as easy as you
                    I would still get screwed

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Greebe
                      Try a gator in your garden hose sometime
                      Just tell him you need new boots and you will never see him again
                      If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

                      Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

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                      • #12
                        The only thing I have to say about some of these questions is "No Comment"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Yeah none of the SAT tests have silly questions like these. Funny though

                          Man this thread reminded me that I have to take some SAT IIs this Saturday...bleh

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            SAT II = A poor attempt to compensate for the fact that the educational system isn't doing a good enough job preparing our students for the original SAT's.

                            I got twin 780's on the SAT's the first time out, without studying, stressing, or worrying. Guessed on a couple that I should have just not answered (would have gotten 800's). *shrug*

                            Then the following year they dumbed them down. I felt very cheated, since I would have EASILY gotten a 1600 with the new, dumber version.

                            Our schools suck. A lot.

                            - Gurm
                            The Internet - where men are men, women are men, and teenage girls are FBI agents!

                            I'm the least you could do
                            If only life were as easy as you
                            I'm the least you could do, oh yeah
                            If only life were as easy as you
                            I would still get screwed

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              What is this SAT stuff, anyway?

                              Anyone care to explain the american school system to me? I never quite understood it, I think.

                              AZ
                              There's an Opera in my macbook.

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