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I'm sad, sad, sad, sad
Even if I realize that we are not so far from the society pictured in nineteen eighty-four ( or the film for those who preffer it ), sometimes I feel like it's the way it should be.
My ex-girlfriend, which I was with for almost two years, left me around 6 months ago. She is Italian, I'm Spanish, we were living in London and I got completely feed up of that city so I decided to take a break and came back to my home town. Even if I was/am deeply in love for her and she repeated to me an infinity of times how much she loved me, the distance was too much for her so she left me. I can dig it, I understand it, it's painful though.
I don't really thing that loves lasts forever, so I though that she just stop feeling that for me. However every thing she does, everything she says makes me realize how much I was cheated. She met a boy a week after leaving me (at least that's what she says), now after six short months they are engaged. I just found out today, we talked about getting married but it was just talking, now with this guy the thing goes serious. I'm not jealous (at least I think so) but what drives me crazy are all those "I love you" and "ti amo" that she used to say to me. It looks that they were not for real.
She told me to be friends, so when she said to me about the engagement (my hearth stop beating) I answered her like a friend that I think that 6 months is a short time to take such a decision. She went completely crazy yelling that who I was to say such a thing!
Three months ago I ask her to take some photos of herself and our common friends living there with the digital camera I bougth her with my last money. 'til now I haven't got a single one, only silly excuses.
Two months ago she phoned me, she sounded depressed so I was trying to cheer her up. That was the last and only time that she have phoned me.
She still owes me some money, she knows I've got no money. I've got to borrow some from my parents to pay the bill. Still she preffers to go on holiday with her boy instead of giving me the money.
.......
Then my job. I'm working cleaning the streets. It's an "ok" job, I work 6 days a week, 6'5 hours every day. So I've got either the morning or the afternoon for myself. The problems are they pay shit and the job is absolutly boring, every ****ing day collecting the same shit.
I've tried to get something else but impossible, the salaries are so low that there is no way I could pay the bills.
.......
In days like this one, when I didn't slept last night, it's 1am and I'm working in 3 hours. I shouldn't really be posting this in here (even if it's the former Soap box, where either the post whores or the Club of Confussion make me have a good fun every day). I should be having a nice chat with a friend, drinking ice-cold beer in a "chiringuito", listening to the Pixies over the sound of the waves breaking into the beach.
But then I don't have so many friends I'll tell that to. Maybe 5 or 6 (and I feel lucky to have them!), not counting the one abroad I tried to phone everyone of them, all of them had the cell-phones switched off. They are probably sleeping or having a good time somewhere nice. I don't blame them for that, there is no way they can know I need to be with them.
......
Since I was on my own and completly sad I decided to go for a walk by the beach. It was a wonderful moon in the sky, lots of stars, the sand was still warm from a sunny day and the waves made such a wonderfull noise when dieing on the coast. Then it was a so idillic place and me alone, lots of couples walking and kissing, from teenegars to old couples, all of them looking awfully happy to be together. There were no loners on the beach tonight, just happy couples walking, whispering, kissing, huging ....
So if I could be living in the nineteen eighty-four nobel (or the film Equilibrium, good film by the way) I'll not join the ressistance, I'll live embraced by the Party, whitout emotions to hurt me.
Anyway tomorrow it may be all over, I'll come here to check for the funniest things (like this one) and I might read this thread and think who was the ****ole who post it under my name
sincerely, Ivan
PS: if you've read it all, you deserve an ice-cold beer in a "chiringuito", so don't hessitate to visit me this summer. It'll be my greatest pleasure to buy you one
My ex-girlfriend, which I was with for almost two years, left me around 6 months ago. She is Italian, I'm Spanish, we were living in London and I got completely feed up of that city so I decided to take a break and came back to my home town. Even if I was/am deeply in love for her and she repeated to me an infinity of times how much she loved me, the distance was too much for her so she left me. I can dig it, I understand it, it's painful though.
I don't really thing that loves lasts forever, so I though that she just stop feeling that for me. However every thing she does, everything she says makes me realize how much I was cheated. She met a boy a week after leaving me (at least that's what she says), now after six short months they are engaged. I just found out today, we talked about getting married but it was just talking, now with this guy the thing goes serious. I'm not jealous (at least I think so) but what drives me crazy are all those "I love you" and "ti amo" that she used to say to me. It looks that they were not for real.
She told me to be friends, so when she said to me about the engagement (my hearth stop beating) I answered her like a friend that I think that 6 months is a short time to take such a decision. She went completely crazy yelling that who I was to say such a thing!
Three months ago I ask her to take some photos of herself and our common friends living there with the digital camera I bougth her with my last money. 'til now I haven't got a single one, only silly excuses.
Two months ago she phoned me, she sounded depressed so I was trying to cheer her up. That was the last and only time that she have phoned me.
She still owes me some money, she knows I've got no money. I've got to borrow some from my parents to pay the bill. Still she preffers to go on holiday with her boy instead of giving me the money.
.......
Then my job. I'm working cleaning the streets. It's an "ok" job, I work 6 days a week, 6'5 hours every day. So I've got either the morning or the afternoon for myself. The problems are they pay shit and the job is absolutly boring, every ****ing day collecting the same shit.
I've tried to get something else but impossible, the salaries are so low that there is no way I could pay the bills.
.......
In days like this one, when I didn't slept last night, it's 1am and I'm working in 3 hours. I shouldn't really be posting this in here (even if it's the former Soap box, where either the post whores or the Club of Confussion make me have a good fun every day). I should be having a nice chat with a friend, drinking ice-cold beer in a "chiringuito", listening to the Pixies over the sound of the waves breaking into the beach.
But then I don't have so many friends I'll tell that to. Maybe 5 or 6 (and I feel lucky to have them!), not counting the one abroad I tried to phone everyone of them, all of them had the cell-phones switched off. They are probably sleeping or having a good time somewhere nice. I don't blame them for that, there is no way they can know I need to be with them.
......
Since I was on my own and completly sad I decided to go for a walk by the beach. It was a wonderful moon in the sky, lots of stars, the sand was still warm from a sunny day and the waves made such a wonderfull noise when dieing on the coast. Then it was a so idillic place and me alone, lots of couples walking and kissing, from teenegars to old couples, all of them looking awfully happy to be together. There were no loners on the beach tonight, just happy couples walking, whispering, kissing, huging ....
So if I could be living in the nineteen eighty-four nobel (or the film Equilibrium, good film by the way) I'll not join the ressistance, I'll live embraced by the Party, whitout emotions to hurt me.
Anyway tomorrow it may be all over, I'll come here to check for the funniest things (like this one) and I might read this thread and think who was the ****ole who post it under my name
sincerely, Ivan
PS: if you've read it all, you deserve an ice-cold beer in a "chiringuito", so don't hessitate to visit me this summer. It'll be my greatest pleasure to buy you one
.... i'll explain... one of my girl freinds left me becuse i was 1cm shorter than her AND ON VALENTINES DAY......... women... cant live with them.. cant live without them....
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