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  • Joke Time

    Ok, it is friday, and I am bored, so I guess it is time for joke thread.

    A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa.

    He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day,
    the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.

    So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.

    The dachshund thinks, OK, I'm in deep trouble now!

    Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.

    Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here?

    Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look
    of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees.

    Whew, says the leopard. That was close. That dachshund nearly had me.

    Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.

    But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed and figured that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

    The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, Here monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine.

    Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, What am I going to do now?

    But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet... and just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says,

    Where's that monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard.
    "I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned."

  • #2
    Hehe, clever.
    Titanium is the new bling!
    (you heard from me first!)

    Comment


    • #3
      A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
      says: "A beer please, and one for the road."


      Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does
      this taste funny to you?"


      Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to
      Dolly "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't
      believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!"


      A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts.
      The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."


      I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I
      couldn't find any.


      A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?"
      asks the doc. "It's... um... well... I have five penises." replies
      the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?"
      "Like a glove."



      Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and
      says "dam".
      "I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned."

      Comment


      • #4
        Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and
        says "dam".


        HAHAHAHA
        Titanium is the new bling!
        (you heard from me first!)

        Comment


        • #5
          LOL

          ~Sethos
          "...and in the next instant he was one of the deadest men that ever lived." – Mark Twain

          Comment


          • #6
            Problems with technology...................
            Attached Files
            Lawrence

            Comment


            • #7
              Not bad. Good jokes, Byock.
              Asus H97 Pro Gamer| Intel i5 4690K| Noctua NH-U9B SE2 | Gigabyte GTX 1060 Windforce 3GB | Soundblaster ZxR | 8 GB Kingston HyperX Genesis DDR3 1600| LG 24 MP88HV-S

              Comment


              • #8
                Brian (the devil incarnate)

                Comment


                • #9
                  A man went to visit his favorite lady of the night. He rang the bell and found there was no answer. Then, he puts on his glasses to read a note on the door: ON VACATION, DO IT YOURSELF.

                  Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of guy your wifewould have preferred.

                  Mixed emotions:
                  Watching your in-laws drive over a cliff in YOUR new car.
                  Better to let one think you are a fool, than speak and prove it


                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Dilitante1
                    Mixed emotions:
                    Watching your in-laws drive over a cliff in YOUR new car.
                    LOL
                    Titanium is the new bling!
                    (you heard from me first!)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Dilitante1
                      A man went to visit his favorite lady of the night. He rang the bell and found there was no answer. Then, he puts on his glasses to read a note on the door: ON VACATION, DO IT YOURSELF.

                      Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of guy your wifewould have preferred.

                      Mixed emotions:
                      Watching your in-laws drive over a cliff in YOUR new car.

                      HAHAHA!
                      "I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned."

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        rofl
                        "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Here's one:

                          Male-daisy and female-daisy are growing next to each other. One day male daisy says: "She-daisy, I like you, do you like me too."

                          She-daisy: "Yes he-daisy, I like you too."

                          More of love talk is echanged as male-daisy proposes: "Let's call the bee then."

                          After a few days male daisy asks: "Are we going to call the bee today?" She-daisy replies: "No, not today, I have photosynthesis."

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            BAD - BAD SNAKE!.............
                            Attached Files
                            Lawrence

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