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The Wisdom of Homer Simpson

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  • The Wisdom of Homer Simpson




    hilarious

  • #2
    Haha! That is great. I think one of my favorites from him was the one with Mel Gibson. Homer is getting intimate with Marge, and the lights go out...

    Homer: "You're thinking about me right?"
    Marge: "Of course, aren't you thinking about me?"
    Homer: "I will now!"
    "I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned."

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    • #3
      Byock, that one is great!

      This one below always makes me smile cause it's so damn stupid! Man that Groening is a genius!

      Homer: Well, he's got all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy.
      Marge: What's that?
      Homer: [thinks] A dinosaur!


      Titanium is the new bling!
      (you heard from me first!)

      Comment


      • #4
        Homer: I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, save me Superman!

        Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive, bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine. -- Dr. Perry Cox

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        • #5
          Homer: <i>My work is my identity ! If I'm not a safety-whatsamagigger, I'm nothing.</i>

          Homer: <i>Ooh! They have the internet on computers now!</i>

          pixar
          Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow. (James Dean)

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          • #6
            Homer: You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. [cheerily] The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
            Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?
            Homer: I like stories.
            #1 DRILL SERGEANT PICK-UP LINE

            "You make me hornier before 9 AM than most
            people do all day!"

            Comment


            • #7
              Actually, one of the best Halloween episodes with many memorable quotes.

              Homer: Oh, Lisa, you and your stories. "Bart is a vampire." "Beer kills brain cells." Now let's go back to that...building...thingy, where our beds and TV...is.



              Homer: Heh, heh. Lisa, vampires are make-believe, just like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.



              Homer: Kill my boss? Do I dare to live out the American dream?
              #1 DRILL SERGEANT PICK-UP LINE

              "You make me hornier before 9 AM than most
              people do all day!"

              Comment


              • #8
                Homer: If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!

                that one is so true

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                • #9
                  Homer: Marge, where's that... metal deely... you use to... dig... food...
                  Marge: You mean, a spoon?
                  Homer: Yeah, yeah!


                  Lady, people aren't chocolates. Do you know what they are mostly? Bastards. Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling. But I don't find them half as annoying as I find naive, bubble-headed optimists who walk around vomiting sunshine. -- Dr. Perry Cox

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Homer: I'm a rageaholic. I cannot live without a rageahol.

                    OMG!!! I just found a Homer Simpson Quote GENERATOR!!!

                    Get a different random quote from Homer Simpson each time.


                    Edit: (see funny quote below)

                    Marge: Homer, did you call the audience "Chicken"?
                    Homer: No! I swear on this bible!
                    Marge: That's not a bible. That's a book of carpet samples.
                    Homer: Mmmm... fuzzy.
                    Last edited by ZokesPro; 26 March 2003, 10:03.
                    Titanium is the new bling!
                    (you heard from me first!)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      HAHA!

                      Homer: Guys are always patting my bald head for luck, pinching my belly to hear my girlish laugh...
                      "I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned."

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Ah, Andy Capp, you wife beating drunk!

                        That one's is just as funny as it is disturbing.
                        #1 DRILL SERGEANT PICK-UP LINE

                        "You make me hornier before 9 AM than most
                        people do all day!"

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by ZokesPro
                          Homer: I'm a rageaholic. I cannot live without a rageahol.

                          OMG!!! I just found a Homer Simpson Quote GENERATOR!!!

                          Get a different random quote from Homer Simpson each time.


                          Edit: (see funny quote below)

                          Marge: Homer, did you call the audience "Chicken"?
                          Homer: No! I swear on this bible!
                          Marge: That's not a bible. That's a book of carpet samples.
                          Homer: Mmmm... fuzzy.
                          hmm.. got the same quote three of four times.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Do any of you guys remember the episode where Renier WolfCastle was signing the oscar meyer weiner song but when he was a kid?

                            Cause I sooooo want to know what the hell he spelled out. it was a LONG word.
                            Titanium is the new bling!
                            (you heard from me first!)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by ZokesPro
                              Do any of you guys remember the episode where Renier WolfCastle was signing the oscar meyer weiner song but when he was a kid?

                              Cause I sooooo want to know what the hell he spelled out. it was a LONG word.
                              I'm a big fan of The Simpsons, but I don't remember that one. Sorry
                              #1 DRILL SERGEANT PICK-UP LINE

                              "You make me hornier before 9 AM than most
                              people do all day!"

                              Comment

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