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SpiralDragon
20th March 2003, 14:15
i woke up this morning to be informed that the war has started.... i whent of to work at uni and found it mostly empty and glumy... (becuse of the rain) what struk me most tho was the erie silence about the war... people i saw where uneasy and not to hapy but they where silent on the subject... not willing to discus it in detail... just a few cinical remarks and then a change of subject.... seems to me that they have lost hope and faith.. and that depresses me even more.......

later i whent of to a job fair in down town.... turnout was low inspite of high unemployment.... most of my unemployed freinds where unintrested in going there... not that the job fair was intresting in any way.. it was a small fair and most jobs being offered where secretarial and low income.... the only media related stand that i found seemed... well i will just give you a transcript of the conversation....

..................
Me: hi. can you tell me more about your company plese?

Lady: we are a production house intrested in AV and media people (sarcastic and condesending tone.. she must have thought i was a business major or something)

Me: great what job vacansies do you have?

lady: (still condesending) we need a secretary and a marketing manager.

me: oh then i need not aply...

Lady: why, what do you do?

Me: well i am an AVID editor and compositor and i also am a sound eng... may i leave my CV with you just incase...

Lady: (unintrested) sure if you want...


...............

i stayed for 15min at that job fair.. i was so dicusted and deprssed that i left....
................

inspite of my capanilities and experiance i cant find my self a decent job...

let me put you inperspectiv about my self ... you can find my
CV (http://www.mcdragon.net) here.....

most of the people i know.. students and pros alike ... seek me to help them out when they are stuck... they say i am the kind of person that can solve any of their technical and creative problems.... they say that i am regarded as one of the best in the field.... yet among the pros that i know non can get me a job... and the students well they never count me in their activties and what not... i am usualy an after thought.....

yet i have been told by a cuple of profesors at uni that the students have more respect and high regards for me than any of the faculty members... on profesor was complaining to me how some students always quote me as though i was some figure of authority......


the funy thing is i dont feel this... i feel usles and unwanted where ever i go... and i am seriously begining to doubt my abilities and qulifications......

what do you think?.... please be honest with me i need to know,,,, even if you dont know me well enugh.....

i feel like i am falling into a well of hplessness just like the rest of lebanon and i cant seem to be able to do anything about it.......... more often than non i have seced to even make sence to my self....... and this war thing is even more deprssing... and i feel selfish for saying that.....

K6-III
20th March 2003, 15:04
Allow me to ask you a question then.

What is your ambition, your dream???

Whatever you do must be based around that ambition.

redmodel
20th March 2003, 15:50
Hi,

I'm a cinematographer, so I can definitely relate to what you are going through.

I definitely get the same feelings when I'm not working for a while either.

For most of 2002, it was relatively a very bad year. I made more in less than two months of work from 2001 than I did in the whole 2002 year. So many investors decided to back out of projects due to September 11.

Although, things started looking good later on in the year, I got two feature projects throughout last fall and winter, and was being offered tons of work. Including shooting a 5 month Documentary across Africa from Cairo to Cape Town.

Then all of a sudden, investors started dropping out again. Sort of around the same time the news was doing more coverage between what's going on between the states and Iraq.

Not good financially for me at all.

But, enough about me, I have talked to other successful professionals in the same field that have been doing it for longer than I've been alive. The usual conversation goes like this:

Me: So, when do you reach a point in your life that you feel comfortable with the field you work in, feeling both emotionally and financially secure.

Them: Never.

Learning from my dismal year of 2002. I decided to approach 2003 a little differently.

A good way to get noticed in the Film Production, A/V field, TV, or whatever field related. Is to produce your own work.

I decided to help produce an up coming feature, and was able to get some very established actors to be in it. So, with a solid script, great actors, and great word of mouth going around town, our only hurdle is to deal with Investors to raise the money.

Now, in all reality, it will be quite hard to raise the money to shoot the film, and it may have to be delayed for another year. That's the negative point.

Postive point, with all the established people that decided to help out with this film, they got to know me pretty well. A few of them already talked to me about future projects that they might be doing, and would like me to shoot for them. That's good Networking!

You just have to keep on networking, it's really the only way to get ahead in film/video production. Well, that and a damn good reel.

You should definitely consider putting your Demo reel online. It helps tons!!!

az
20th March 2003, 23:14
Maybe you should do something about your depressions first. Since you came here, you have been unhappy (that's no offense, just an observation, and I can understand that you're not too happy with the world). Maybe you should see a psychologist - when you feel better (about yourself), you "radiate" this, and people will regard you higher if YOU regard yourself higher.

AZ

SpiralDragon
20th March 2003, 23:51
redmodel: i agree with you ... i do need to have a theater or film project in my hands that would make me feel better....

AZ: i Have been having meny ups and downs.... i feel comfprtable talking about them here... and although i do sound negative most of the time i am an optemistic person and only see the good in people.... yes i do need a psychologist but so far i have not found one qulified enugh here.... people have a general phobia of psychologists therefor there is litle need for them to be around... i dont have a problem with them i think they are a nessesity....

back to the making films.... i need to make a film or even a play... but it would be easier for me to work on a film.. lot of people owe me favors so equipment is not a problem... at least equipment for DV filmmaking.... i would love to work with real film and i have been working on several script ideas...... but like you said... the investors are not intrested... :(

az
21st March 2003, 00:07
Can't you produce some low-budget (DV) short?

This would a) make you feel better, and b) add something to your filmography. You could even put it (or a part of it) online.

AZ

SpiralDragon
21st March 2003, 00:52
i can... the equipment is here... but there is no one to work on this project... not for free at least... one of my closest friends is trying her best to find me a crew willing to work for free...

SpiralDragon
21st March 2003, 15:11
update: begining to muster a group of people intrested in working with ...... but it will have to wait till tomorow for confomation as i am not to sure they answered me positivly becuse they where drunk or becuse i was drunk :D .... we will have to see ....