PDA

View Full Version : amusing chain mail I got



RedRed
20th March 2003, 08:49
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay 2 for a 1 item he needs.

A woman will pay 1 for a 2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.


Well I thought it was funny.....

Paddy
20th March 2003, 08:52
hehe me too! :)

KvHagedorn
20th March 2003, 09:47
Originally posted by ex RedRed

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime



This works more like this..

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = employee fired because boss feels threatened
Dumb boss + dumb employee = business failure

Technoid
20th March 2003, 09:55
Originally posted by KvHagedorn
This works more like this..

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = employee fired because boss feels threatened
Dumb boss + dumb employee = business failure

All to true :P

The PIT
20th March 2003, 10:38
KVH you're spot on there.

SpiralDragon
20th March 2003, 11:58
lol......

Strahd
21st March 2003, 07:10
Originally posted by ex RedRed
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

ROTFLMAO.

UtwigMU
21st March 2003, 07:47
Well here's one:

Why do women watch whole pr0n movies?

Because they think they will marry at the end.