Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

amusing chain mail I got

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • amusing chain mail I got

    ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

    Smart man + smart woman = romance
    Smart man + dumb woman = affair
    Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
    Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

    OFFICE ARITHMETIC

    Smart boss + smart employee = profit
    Smart boss + dumb employee = production
    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

    SHOPPING MATH

    A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.

    A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need.

    GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


    HAPPINESS

    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

    LONGEVITY

    Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.


    PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

    DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

    A woman has the last word in any argument.

    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



    HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

    SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.


    Well I thought it was funny.....
    Dont just swallow the blue pill.

  • #2
    hehe me too!
    The Welsh support two teams when it comes to rugby. Wales of course, and anyone else playing England

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: amusing chain mail I got

      Originally posted by ex RedRed

      OFFICE ARITHMETIC

      Smart boss + smart employee = profit
      Smart boss + dumb employee = production
      Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
      Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

      This works more like this..

      Smart boss + smart employee = profit
      Smart boss + dumb employee = production
      Dumb boss + smart employee = employee fired because boss feels threatened
      Dumb boss + dumb employee = business failure

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Re: amusing chain mail I got

        Originally posted by KvHagedorn
        This works more like this..

        Smart boss + smart employee = profit
        Smart boss + dumb employee = production
        Dumb boss + smart employee = employee fired because boss feels threatened
        Dumb boss + dumb employee = business failure
        All to true :P
        If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

        Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

        Comment


        • #5
          KVH you're spot on there.
          Chief Lemon Buyer no more Linux sucks but not as much
          Weather nut and sad git.

          My Weather Page

          Comment


          • #6
            lol......
            "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: amusing chain mail I got

              Originally posted by ex RedRed
              HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

              Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
              ROTFLMAO.
              #1 DRILL SERGEANT PICK-UP LINE

              "You make me hornier before 9 AM than most
              people do all day!"

              Comment


              • #8
                Well here's one:

                Why do women watch whole pr0n movies?

                Because they think they will marry at the end.

                Comment

                Working...
                X