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An Australian, and Irishman and a Scouser were sitting in a bar...

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  • An Australian, and Irishman and a Scouser were sitting in a bar...

    An Australian, and Irishman and a Scouser were sitting in a bar. There is only one other person in the bar. The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before when suddenly the Irishman cried out : "My God! I know who that man is - it's Jesus!" The others looked again, and sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table. The Irishman calls out across the lounge : "Hey! Hey you! Are you Jesus?" Jesus looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. "Yes, I am Jesus," he says. Well, the Irishman calls the bartender over and says to him: "I'd like you to give Jesus over there a pint of Guinness from me." The bartender pours Jesus a Guinness. Jesus looks over, raises his glass in thanks and drinks. Then the Australian calls out : "Oy you! D'ya reckon you're Jesus or what?" Jesus nods and says : "Yes, I am Jesus". The Australian is mighty impressed and has the bartender send over a pot of Fosters for Jesus which Jesus accepts with pleasure. The Scouser then calls out : "Oi wack, would you be Jesus?" Jesus smiles and says : "Yes, I am Jesus". The Scouser beckons the bartender and tells him to send over a pint of bitter for Jesus, which the bartender duly does. As before, Jesus accepts the drink and smiles over at the table. Finally, after finishing the drinks, Jesus leaves his seat and approaches our three friends. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of
    amazement: "Oh God! The arthritis is gone! The arthritis I've had for years is gone! It's a miracle !!!" Jesus then shakes the Australian's hand, thanking him for the lager. Upon letting go, the Australian's eyes widen in shock: "By jingo mate, the migraine! The migraine I've for 40 years is completely gone - it's a miracle!!!" Jesus then goes to approach the Scouser who says: "Back off, mate! I'm on Disability!"
    The Welsh support two teams when it comes to rugby. Wales of course, and anyone else playing England

  • #2
    When you own your own business you only have to work half a day. You can do anything you want with the other twelve hours.

    Comment


    • #3
      Titanium is the new bling!
      (you heard from me first!)

      Comment


      • #4
        ROFLMAO!!!

        Reminds me of Monty Python's The Life of Brian.

        A shilling for an ex-leper!

        Jammrock
        “Inside every sane person there’s a madman struggling to get out”
        –The Light Fantastic, Terry Pratchett

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        • #5
          What's a Scouser?

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          • #6
            What's a Scouser?
            Someone from Scotland ?

            Reminds me of Monty Python's The Life of Brian.

            A shilling for an ex-leper!

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            • #7
              Scouser
              (skaus-sir)
              Brit. Inf. ~n. a person who comes from Liverpool.

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              • #8
                "I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned."

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                • #9
                  LOL now that's great...I'll post one of a sort of simular nature later...

                  ~Sethos
                  "...and in the next instant he was one of the deadest men that ever lived." – Mark Twain

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                  • #10
                    Tony, post that pic of 'you know when there's a scouser in your office'
                    The Welsh support two teams when it comes to rugby. Wales of course, and anyone else playing England

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                    • #11
                      LOL

                      http://forums.murc.ws/showthread.php...hlight=scouser

                      T.
                      FT.

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                      • #12
                        This may be old...

                        You are a Scouser
                        Tune: "You are my Sunshine/Solskjaer"

                        You are a Scouser,
                        An ugly Scouser,
                        You're only happy,
                        On Giro day.
                        Your mum's out thieving,
                        Your dad's drug-dealing,
                        So please don't take,
                        My hubcaps,
                        Away.

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                        • #13
                          How big is Liverpool?
                          Titanium is the new bling!
                          (you heard from me first!)

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I'm not quite sure, but the perimeter wall is obviously WAY too low
                            FT.

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                            • #15
                              Map multiple locations, get transit/walking/driving directions, view live traffic conditions, plan trips, view satellite, aerial and street side imagery. Do more with Bing Maps.
                              The Welsh support two teams when it comes to rugby. Wales of course, and anyone else playing England

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