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OK - lighten up a bit.!

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  • OK - lighten up a bit.!

    I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus thing. And I never have figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. And, I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do".

    One evening last week, my wife and I got into bed.

    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, just want you to hold me."

    I said, "WHAT??" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dread. She explains that I'm obviously not in tune with her emotional needs as a "Woman".

    I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?"

    I finally realize that nothing is going to happen that night, so I went to bed.

    The very next day we went shopping at a big department store...

    I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits.

    She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth R300 each to which I say OK. And then we go to the Jewellery Dept. where she gets a set of diamond earrings. Let me tell you ...she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared.

    I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK. She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register."

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face ... It went completely blank. I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You obviously are not in tune with my financial needs as a "Man."

    I figure that I should be having sex again sometime during the Spring of 2006...
    Lawrence

  • #2
    hehe man that was hilarious !!

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    • #3
      ROFLMAO
      So true
      -Slougi

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      • #4
        Hahahahahaha - satisfying in the extreme but the sort of thing you will only ever do once in life I am sure...
        DM says: Crunch with Matrox Users@ClimatePrediction.net

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        • #5
          I have also heard that exactly the same reaction can be induced by getting into bed with a nice cold glass of water and a packet of prescription Syndol pain killers while offering a few to wifie dearest for that serious migraine she is suffering from ...................... she will off-course promptly comment "but are you mad - I do not have one today!!" .................at which point you could suggest an impromptu game of "hide the salami"............
          Lawrence

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          • #6
            great story man..... remind me NEVER to try that
            Wikipedia and Google.... the needles to my tangent habit.
            ________________________________________________

            That special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, Or maybe below the cockles, Maybe in the sub-cockle area, Maybe in the liver, Maybe in the kidneys, Maybe even in the colon, We don't know.

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            • #7
              Hope he had a really comfy couch
              “And, remember: there's no 'I' in 'irony'” ~ Merlin Mann

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