Health talk

[LvR]

I went to my Doctor and asked him some very detailed questions about
health and nutrition. He had some excellent advice...

I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste
them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your
heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend
the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a
nap.

Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than
an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green
leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
daily allowance of vegetable slop.

Is beer or wine bad for me?
Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we
all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three
categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and
wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements,
so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: have a burger and a
beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.

How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise
program?
Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain... Good.

Aren't fried foods bad for you?
You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In
fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad
for you?

What's the secret to healthy eating?
Thicker gravy.

Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?
Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should
only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Is chocolate bad for me?
Are you crazy? Hello... Cocoa beans?!... Another vegetable! It's the
best feel good food around!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had
about food and diets. Have a cookie... flour is a veggie! One more
thing... "When life hands you lemons, ask for a bottle of tequila and
salt."

[The PIT]

Just eat and drink what you want and don't over do it.
Now thats killed this thread.

[LvR]

You have obviously not read or understood the most important bit there:

What's the secret to healthy eating?
Thicker gravy.

and

"When life hands you lemons, ask for a bottle of tequila and
salt."

[Paddy]

I must remember that one!

[Dr Mordrid]

If you want to read an excellent article on nutrition Scientific American published one called "Rebuilding the Food Pyramid" in the January, 2003 issue.

This article explains why the food pyramid used by the US government (and lots of others), dieticians & doctors has actually contributed to increases in heart disease, diabetes and obesity rates.

They also offer an improved pyramid with suprising suggestions, at least to those who haven't studied the problem closely.

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?colID=1&articleID=0007C5B6-7152-1DF6-9733809EC588EEDF

An absolutely great read and something that should have been said ages ago.

BTW: only about .5% of all doctors know shite about nutrition, and even most nutritionists have been trained with "conventional wisdoms" that are far from scientific fact.

Dr. Mordrid

[thop]

I can't seem to open that link Doc. It times out on me with a blue background and nothing more.

My personal plan: protein,fat = good, carbonhydrates = bad

Take for example the so hevaily marketed and utterly expensive fruity "Pro Life" Yoghurts or whatever they call them now with only 0.1% fat. Sounds good first, until you look on the ingredients and see 20% carbonhydrates (refined sugar ).

[Ajax]

Want to live longer? Eat more preservatives.

[Dr Mordrid]

Lets try it a different way...

Scientific American article.....

Even on my broadband it takes a few seconds though.

Dr. Mordrid

[Ozbreeze]

Very good article, DR Mordrid....thanks for posting that

[Byock]

Hmm, I think...

Live Hard, Die young, and leave a good looking Corpse.

[Ozbreeze]

Originally posted by Byock
Hmm, I think...

Live Hard, Die young, and leave a good looking Corpse.

uhh, byock, i don't think you have a chance at all of leaving a good looking corpse j\k!

[Brian R.]

My theory of eating is "Never eat the same thing for two meals in a row"

[agallag]

Originally posted by Brian R.
My theory of eating is "Never eat the same thing for two meals in a row"

No problem, just alternate between Grilled Cheese Sandwiches and Mac & Cheese

[KvHagedorn]

I'll never forget an anecdote told by some actress about Orson Welles. They were dining together and he apologized for not eating normally, but the doctor had told him he could only eat boiled chickens, "and it was true, that's all he ate, but he ate FIVE of them."

Guess the diet didn't work..