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Something to make you laugh today...

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  • Something to make you laugh today...

    A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for
    the first time found herself alone in a small waiting
    room. She began undressing nervously,preparing herself
    for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the
    last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light
    rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.

    Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude
    patient up and down carefully and with considerable
    appreciation.

    "Miss Smith," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious
    to me that until today you have never undergone an
    eye examination."

    ~~~~~~~~

    ACTUAL SCHOOL ABSENCE EXCUSES FROM
    PARENTS (SUPPOSEDLY)-- INCLUDING SPELLING.

    *My son is under a doctor's care today and should
    not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

    *Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick
    and I had her shot.

    *Dear School: Please ekscuse John for being absent
    on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

    *Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is
    administrating.

    *Please excuse Roland frrom P.E. for a few days.
    Yesterday, he fell out of a tree and misplaced his
    hip.

    *John has been absent because he had two teeth
    taken out of his face.

    *Carlos was absent yesterday because he was
    playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

    *Megan could not come to school today because she
    has been botheres by very close veins.

    *Chris will not be in school because he has an
    acre in his side.

    *Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very
    loose vowels.

    *Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday.
    He had diahre, dyrea, direathe, the shits.

    *Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday.
    He had diarrhea and his boots leak.

    *Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his
    bust.

    *Please excuse Jim for being. It was his father's
    fault.

    *I kept Billie home because she had to go
    Christmas shopping because I don't know what size
    she wear.

    *Please excuse Jennifer for missing school
    yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off
    the porch and when we found it Monday, we thought
    it was Sunday.

    *Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We
    have to attend her funeral.

    *My daughter was absent yesterday because she was
    tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

    *Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday.
    She was in bed with gramps.

    *Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a
    gangover.

    *Please excuse brenda, she has been sick and under
    the doctor.

    *Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she
    had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset
    stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore
    throat, her brother had a low grade fever and
    ached all over. I wasn't the best, either, sore
    throat and fever. There must be something going
    around, her father even got hot last night.
    I'm a genie in a bottle BABY, gotta rub ME the right way!!!

  • #2
    HAHA, those are funny!
    --Insert something here--

    Comment


    • #3
      the EXCUSES are quite funny

      Comment


      • #4
        Some of them are
        Some are:
        All are :
        Titanium is the new bling!
        (you heard from me first!)

        Comment


        • #5
          a gang over? Isn;t she a bit young for that
          Join MURCs Distributed Computing effort for Rosetta@Home and help fight Alzheimers, Cancer, Mad Cow disease and rising oil prices.
          [...]the pervading principle and abiding test of good breeding is the requirement of a substantial and patent waste of time. - Veblen

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          • #6
            *My daughter was absent yesterday because she was
            tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.

            Comment

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