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You might be a physics major....

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  • You might be a physics major....

    YOU MIGHT BE A PHYSICS MAJOR....

    if you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.

    if you enjoy pain.

    if you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.

    if you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."

    if you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.

    if when you look in a mirror, you see a physics major.

    if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.

    if you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."

    if you always do homework on Friday nights.

    if you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.

    if you think in "math."

    if you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.

    if you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.

    if you have a pet named after a scientist.

    if you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.

    if the Humane society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schroedinger's Cat experiment.

    if you can translate English into Binary.

    if you can't remember what's behind the door in the science building that says "Exit."

    if you have to bring a jacket with you, in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.

    If you are completely addicted to caffeine.

    if you avoid doing anything because you don't want to contribute to the eventual heat-death of the universe.

    if you consider ANY non-science course "easy."

    if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.

    if the "fun" center of your brain has deteriorated from lack of use.

    if you'll assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.

    if you understood more than five of these indicators.

    if you make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.

    Dr. Mordrid
    Last edited by Dr Mordrid; 22 October 2002, 17:12.
    Dr. Mordrid
    ----------------------------
    An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

    I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1,250 fps

  • #2
    if you understood more than five of these indicators.
    Ewww.... I'm just a geek, really, I swear...!!!

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    • #3
      Bah.....Physics is the one subject I have forever hated, I barely passed it in high-school
      All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

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      • #4
        Bah.....Physics is the one subject I have forever hated, I barely passed it in high-school
        You seem to forget chemistry.

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        • #5
          To quote a professor of mine:
          If it moves, it must be biology.
          If it smells bad, it must be chemistry.
          And if it doesn't work, it must be physics...

          Jörg
          pixar
          Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow. (James Dean)

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          • #6
            funny, I got my degree 15 years ago, and none of those indicators apply!
            must be a 'new physics' thing??
            Yeah, well I'm gonna build my own lunar space lander! With blackjack aaaaannd Hookers! Actually, forget the space lander, and the blackjack. Ahhhh forget the whole thing!

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            • #7
              Dunno....they apply to me and I got my degree in the early 70's

              Dr. Mordrid
              Dr. Mordrid
              ----------------------------
              An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

              I carry a gun because I can't throw a rock 1,250 fps

              Comment


              • #8
                ah... your a physics major... now i don't feel quite so picked on
                "And yet, after spending 20+ years trying to evolve the user interface into something better, what's the most powerful improvement Apple was able to make? They finally put a god damned shell back in." -jwz

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                • #9
                  used to love phisics... but hated the math part as i could never get it right with my deslexia .... so i gave it up and went for theater and film...
                  "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

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                  • #10
                    Ahhh…. Chemistry!

                    Fun Fun Fun!

                    We had a replacement teacher once and he was going to explain and demonstrate oxidization

                    So he took a bowl and poured about gallon water into it, put a paper onto it.

                    The idea was to drop a gram of lithium on to it causing it to oxidize violently and provide a fun fireworks effect…

                    When he cut of the equivalent of hundred grams I asked him if he really was going to drop that into the bowl….

                    “Yes, of course” he answered

                    I sat on the first bench and the rest of the class was parked at the rear two lanes (bad eyesight seems to put one close ) and I guessed that they would survive and:

                    “Bye, nice knowing you” I said and promptly left!

                    I went down to the reception and told the staff to phone the fire department.

                    “But why should we do that” one of them asked

                    “Because the Chemistry teacher are trying to ki” “FIRE ALARM BEEP”

                    “Never mind they should be on their way”

                    The teacher survived (barely) and there was a big burned hole in the bench where I had sat

                    Chemistry is fun!

                    And when I later that semester had to abruptly leave the chemistry class to visit the “bathroom” the classroom was deserted when I came back…

                    I asked the regular teacher where everyone else was and he answered that I after I had left the rest of the class had almost panickly cleared out and he was darned to know what was going on, he had actually been demonstrating something that bubbled quite violently but was totally safe

                    Seems like the rest of the class weren’t taking chances
                    If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

                    Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

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                    • #11
                      lol
                      "They say that dreams are real only as long as they last. Couldn't you say the same thing about life?"

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