View Full Version : ......

15th August 2002, 21:35
it was a long.. hot.. dark night..

15th August 2002, 21:51
with a short.. cold.. bright twist, when suddenly...!!

15th August 2002, 21:59
window shutters creak, a breeze had picked up causing the old house to stirr. A branch scratches against an upstairs window. The...

15th August 2002, 22:00
pirate ship appeared on the horizon!

15th August 2002, 22:04
The... young lady jumped outta bed and slowly walked to the end of the room, there sat ...

15th August 2002, 22:15
... a heshen bag, something had begun seeping through the coarse fibres and pooling on the polished boards beneath. The bag had crumpled, disguising what was within, but it was clear that it wasn't a ...

16th August 2002, 00:40
...dirty laundry bag. As the pirate ship approach the window, the young lady...

Fat Tone
16th August 2002, 00:58
scooped up a handful of blood and began coating her bare...

16th August 2002, 01:02
..wooden floorboards with...

Dr Mordrid
16th August 2002, 01:14
the still warm fluid. Turning to the lifeless young woman who was the source of the fluid of life, she.....

16th August 2002, 01:31
...slipped on the blood and fell over...

16th August 2002, 01:55
...her ruby-red slippers. Dazed, she...

16th August 2002, 02:45
..shook her..

16th August 2002, 03:47
.. pulsating..

16th August 2002, 04:23
extra large fully automatic...

16th August 2002, 05:05
Robotic watchdog who automatically jumped on the ruby-red slippers and….

16th August 2002, 05:11
...snatched the Knife-Killing-Thingymabob-Death-To-All-Soon™ device. The lady's previous thoughts of preventing world warfare, banishing poverty and all round making the world pretty nice with her Knife-Thingymabob-Peace-To-All-Soon™ device were all but gone - how was she to know the terror of how her best friend stole Vanilla smokes all this time! The vengeance will continue, first with this damn robot, and next up for their bloody end is...

16th August 2002, 06:55
that big ugly monstrosity that lives opposite. More commonly known as...

16th August 2002, 07:04
The Pink Llama....

16th August 2002, 07:04
...who lives with the mysterious "Timmy"...

16th August 2002, 07:17
...Who only has one arm and leg, from a Shark attack...

16th August 2002, 07:28
but who is still better off then his friend Bob who has no arms or legs and now just floats around as the sharks of the deep play water polo wityh his torso...

16th August 2002, 07:55
With a sudden "poof" dancry falls out off nowhere and splashes into the water!
The sharks sences the taste of this new thing and decides thats it is to foul and leaves............

16th August 2002, 08:13
...then *poof* dancray disappears once more....

16th August 2002, 09:27
The wind slowly turned...

16th August 2002, 09:41

16th August 2002, 10:09
...to which the girl thaught 'i gotta stop takin that...

16th August 2002, 10:54
...dog for a walk near...

16th August 2002, 10:57

16th August 2002, 11:31
Her pulse raced as she walked the dog, on campus…

16th August 2002, 11:43
...but Campus didnt mind too much. In fact he rather liked...

16th August 2002, 11:53
Transformers. But not the mating type, but...

16th August 2002, 13:14
hermaphrodite kind...

16th August 2002, 13:30
.. "best of both worlds", he thought..

16th August 2002, 13:52
...so he kept on walking his dog then suddenly...

16th August 2002, 14:21
...the previously forgotten pirate ship...

16th August 2002, 14:48
... started sinking because...

16th August 2002, 16:05
...the shark that eat Timmy’s arm and leg and eat most of Bob...

16th August 2002, 16:20
...really should have been watching for icebergs...

16th August 2002, 16:53
...instead of drinking...

Dr Mordrid
17th August 2002, 01:27
five bottles of Red Ripple.

17th August 2002, 02:21
But as it is sinking, it stops! As it turns out the ocean is only 3 feet deep! Hurrah! Everyone cheers. They think they're all saved until a big red and purple...

17th August 2002, 02:46
.. butterfly comes flying in dropping huge, green piles of ...

17th August 2002, 03:36
goo that starts to mutate into gremlins and start eating the crew, on the other side of the world an other pile of undesrcibleable pile of goo suddenly starts to chimmer and a voice says: "I'm back"....

17th August 2002, 11:31
..."Yes, I am. What do you mean you don't know who I am? Don't you remember that night?" ;)


# "Guess who's back, back again...

Fat Tone
17th August 2002, 12:01
But no one, and I mean no one, knew the stranger.

Meanwhile, in the darkest, deepest recesses of the woman's mind, a thought was stirring. Pleasure. Sheer pleasure. Pleasure greater than any she had known before. And then, it was ...

Dr Mordrid
17th August 2002, 12:53
time to change the battery in her vibrator.

17th August 2002, 13:37
Yes, her beeper had run out of charge. Oh, no! Now how was she to find out about...

Dr Mordrid
17th August 2002, 13:45
the 2 for 1 sale at Lovers Lane!!??

17th August 2002, 13:48
Which was quite handy, as she rather fancied owning her own lane. It would be a nice place for her...

17th August 2002, 14:47
... to walk the dog...

17th August 2002, 15:31
but all that was to end when the sun turned red and began to go nova....

17th August 2002, 16:09
...yet a strange portal appeared before her. She glazes for a moment at this strange distortion and...

17th August 2002, 18:42
...makes a lovely cup of tea...

18th August 2002, 00:35
As she sips her tea, a dark figure steps out of the Portal.

"I am Toast !" shouts the pirate in a muffled voice.

"Sorry, can you say that again and speak a little louder ?" asks the girl.

"I am Toast !" shouts the pirate again is a louder muffled voice.

"I can't hear you too well" says the girl.

"Of course you can't you friggin idiot, I have a wooden head !" screams the pirate in his muffled voice. "I lost my friggin head in a friggin shark attack !"

"Why a wooden head ?" asked the girl "You could have put a hook instead.." she continued

18th August 2002, 02:55
The pirate shops of her head and steps back into the portal mumbling something about blondes....

18th August 2002, 05:05
The girl meanwhile, is glad she bought her spare...

18th August 2002, 05:35
EMH, that sevs back her head!

18th August 2002, 05:56
But a thought still persisted... "Why a peg head and not a hook !?"

20th August 2002, 10:41
you people worry me sometimes..

has anybody read this story all the way thru?

Fat Tone
20th August 2002, 10:48
...thought the girl, in a startling moment of clarity & self awareness.

She looked around to find...

20th August 2002, 11:59
...monkeys flying out of her...

20th August 2002, 12:01
... Penguin! Only to discover that ice doesn't...

20th August 2002, 12:10
....taste that bad when served with a good whiskey and a third of ginger ale. Just then a tune came to mind, "moving to Montana soon, gonna be a dental floss tycoon" who......

20th August 2002, 15:53
at that point it was about 10 minutes since the sun had gone nova and the Earth was vaporised by the heatwave.....

20th August 2002, 21:22
...not handled by the dinky heatsink/fan combo it shipped with. Why didnt NASA think of watercooling? Why did noone listen to the ESA? The had suggested...

21st August 2002, 12:39
to use liquid hydrogen instead......

Fat Tone
21st August 2002, 12:41
but apparently that did something rather nasty to the Pink Llama, leaving it...

21st August 2002, 12:45
A space ship blasts out of hyperspace and is rocketed by the aftershook of the blast...

"where the heck are we?"

"I don't know, where suposed to be in the Tellus system"

"Groff grahhaa ruuuuu"

"But My map IS correct...(muffled sounds)

"Chewie, stop strangling him, we need to get out of this asteroid field!"


21st August 2002, 13:12
Then Lea says to Han Solo, stop stroking your wookie and get us out of here...

21st August 2002, 13:24
"Yes your Worsshipness" Han sais with a sly grin!

"Han we got four imperial stardestroyers on aor trail and Dad's on one of them"

"great news Kid, why don't the Sun turn into a black hole when yer at it"

"it is turning into a black hole" says lando with an ash stricken face......

21st August 2002, 13:37
Oh my god. That's not a black hole. It's your anus. I mean Uranus.

21st August 2002, 14:29
"But Siiir" C3PO intervented ........

21st August 2002, 15:07
..."We already used up our full quota of sexual innuendoes in the first three films." the droid said in a dejected tone of voice. "Along with all our good plot ideas and most of George Lucas' directing talent. We're doomed!"
"Don't worry Goldenrod." Han smirked back at him. "We're making up for it in special effects. Watch this.." Han said, and pressed....

21st August 2002, 15:11
Originally posted by Lizzard[MPE]
you people worry me sometimes..

has anybody read this story all the way thru?

You should compile the story so that people can read the mess they created! :p

(to continue the story)

...the big red button!!!...

21st August 2002, 15:19
With a sickening whining all the lights in the cockpit whinked out!

"They told me they fixed it , they promised me" Lando whined worse than the hyperdrive motivator.........,

21st August 2002, 16:25
...when a thought poured through Luke's mind, how come Transformers like these stories so much...:):p

Fat Tone
21st August 2002, 16:48
And how come we all like the transforming avatar so much? thought Luke. Hmmm...

21st August 2002, 19:04
And how can we get the transformer to jump? He couldnt stop thinking of it. Just then...

Fat Tone
22nd August 2002, 01:04
he remembered homepage.ntlworld.com/andrews.tony/boobies.swf (http://homepage.ntlworld.com/andrews.tony/boobies.swf) and all was right with the world! :cool:

22nd August 2002, 08:07
The End.

Starring in no particular order:

Sydney Moon, ...

Fat Tone
22nd August 2002, 08:17
Ivor Biggun,...

22nd August 2002, 08:36
Helena Handbasket...

22nd August 2002, 08:42
Guy #3....
Guy looking at Guy #3....

22nd August 2002, 11:39
Key Grip...

Fat Tone
22nd August 2002, 12:05
Lost All Grip...

22nd August 2002, 12:15
All your Grip are belong to us...

22nd August 2002, 12:37
screams Sinious Vader.....

Fat Tone
22nd August 2002, 13:38
THE END. Over. Zip. Finito. It says so up there!

Go Vader - you are not welcome during the credits.

22nd August 2002, 13:43
Originally posted by Tony Andrews
THE END. Over. Zip. Finito. It says so up there!

Go Vader - you are not welcome during the credits.

Now all we need to do is compile the story to see how ridiculous it is! :D

22nd August 2002, 14:33
i tried that. it took way to long so i gave up

22nd August 2002, 14:41
You don't have enough patience :devious: :D

Here you go !

22nd August 2002, 14:57
Wow, what a wonderfully confusing yet interesting story! :)

22nd August 2002, 16:55
From the author's of "Lizzie's Continuous Story" comes...

Lizzie's Continuous Story...II

Featuring some, all or none of the original characters, regular, occasional or no references to the original plot, and the same 15 words at the start of the script.

The Register says: It's going to sell poorly, and will attempt to use the RIAA to shut down slashdot.org
The MURC says: It's a well informed rumour, but it's going to exceed the expectations for the previous story (which was no expectations)
The [H] site says: LOL! I didn't get the first story, so the second one is crap!
Crystal Ball says: Every story nowadays could really do with a die shrink
Slashdot says: It's funny, laugh!
it was a long.. hot.. dark night with a short.. cold.. bright twist, when suddenly...!!