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    Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women
    (and what they actually mean...)

    10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")

    9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You are one jurassic geezer.)

    8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes upon.)

    7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)

    6. I've got a boyfriend (who's really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's).

    5. I don't date men where I work. (Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)

    4. It's not you, it's me. (It's not me, it's you.)

    3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)

    2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only the men like you.)

    ...and the number 1 rejection line given by women (and what it actually means)

    1. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It's that male perspective thing)


    Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Men
    (and what they actually mean...)

    10. I think of you as a sister. (You're ugly.)

    9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You're ugly.)

    8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You're ugly.)

    7. My life is too complicated right now. (You're ugly.)

    6. I've got a girlfriend. (You're ugly.)

    5. I don't date women where I work. (You're ugly.)

    4. It's not you, it's me. (You're ugly.)

    3. I'm concentrating on my career. (You're ugly.)

    2. I'm celibate. (You're ugly.)

    ...and the number 1 rejection line given by men (and what it actually means)

    1. Let's be friends. (You're sinfully ugly.)


    Top 10 signs Santa Doesn't Like Your Kid

    10. Kid's letter to North Pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"

    9. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes

    8. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling

    7. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left are styrofoam peanuts

    6. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a reindeer head in his bed

    5. Instead of "naughty" or "nice," Santa has him on the "dork" list

    4. Sends him off on one of them Carnival cruises with Kathie Lee

    3. First words when kid gets on his lap are, "Touch my beard and I'll put the hurt on you!"

    2. Labels on all your kid's toys read "Straight from Craptown"

    1. Four words: "Off my lap, Tubby!"


    Top 10 signs you bought a bad christmas tree

    10. Two feet tall, forty feet wide

    9. Salesman's opening line: "You're not a cop, are you?"

    8. It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers stuck into it

    7. While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family caravan for a joy ride

    6. Each branch has "Duraflame" printed on it

    5. Keeps heckling while you try to do a lame top ten list

    4. It's very small and says "Air Freshener" on it

    3. Rabbis have better Christmas trees than yours

    2. Some guy named Mujibur puts a cheap Statue of Liberty on top of it

    1. Constantly bragging about its "trunk size"


    Top 10 reasons to buy a new car...

    10. Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.

    9. Instead of an air bag, there's a whoopee cushion taped to your steering wheel.

    8. You lose the stoplight challenge to a 14-year-old on a moped.

    7. The 15 minute JiffyLube needs to keep your car for 3 days.

    6. When you gas up, the attendant asks, "Can I re-duct tape that windshield for you?"

    5. Thieves repeatedly break in your car just to steal "The Club."

    4. While sitting at a stop light, people keep running up to you and asking if anyone was hurt.

    3. For the last five years, you've had to settle for making "vroom, vroom" noises while in the driveway.

    2. You keep losing dates on left turns.

    1. Traffic reporters start referring to you by name when discussing morning tie-ups.


    Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve

    10. God worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

    9. God knew that Adam would one day require someone to locate and hand him the TV remote.

    8. God knew that Adam would never go out and get himself a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would, therefore, need Eve to go get one for him.

    7. God knew that Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

    6. God knew that Adam would never be able to remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

    5. God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

    4. As "Keeper of the Garden," Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

    3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

    2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone!"

    And finally, the number ONE reason that God created Eve...

    1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head, and said, "I can do better than THAT!"






    Jordâ„¢

  • #2
    According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless...

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    • #3
      Some time after creating man, god saw that Adam was lonely and thought: "It is not good for man to be alone!".
      So he called Adam and spoke to him: "Adam, what if I created you a partner, someone that will always love and adore you, someone that will make you something to eat when you're hungry, and will wash your clothes for you. She will read every wish from your lips and do just everything for you. But it will cost one of your arms."

      Adam thinks about this for a minute and then asks: "Hmmm, and what do I get for a rib?"
      Last edited by Indiana; 27 December 2001, 17:54.
      But we named the *dog* Indiana...
      My System
      2nd System (not for Windows lovers )
      German ATI-forum

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