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14 Reasons To Allow Drinking At Work!

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  • 14 Reasons To Allow Drinking At Work!

    1. It's an incentive to show up.
    2. It reduces stress

    3. It leads to more honest communications.

    4. It reduces complaints about low pay.

    5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.

    6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.

    7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.

    8. It encourages carpooling.

    9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care.

    10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

    11. It makes fellow employees look better.

    12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

    13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they have had a couple of drinks

    14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.





    And then ofcourse we have the old BQL(BEER QUOTES LIST)!

    Have a beer!

    I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
    --Frank Sinatra

    The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.
    --William Butler Yeats

    An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
    --Ernest Hemingway

    Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
    --Ernest Hemingway

    Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
    -Catherine Zandonella

    Non-Drinker: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
    --Ambrose Bierce

    Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
    --Anonymous

    Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat hairy girls.
    --Timothy Walsh

    A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
    --Anonymous

    What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
    --W.C. Fields

    When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
    --Henny Youngman

    Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
    --Michelle Mastrolacasa

    I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.
    --Tom Waits

    24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
    --Stephen Wright

    When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven...
    --Brian O'Rourke

    You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline... it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
    --Frank Zappa

    Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
    --Winston Churchill

    Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
    --Benjamin Franklin

    If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
    --Deep Thought, Jack Handy

    Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
    --Dave Barry

    The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
    --Humphrey Bogart

    Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
    --David Moulton

    Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
    --Kaiser Wilhelm

    I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
    --Homer Simpson

    All right, Brain, I don't like you... and you don't like me, so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
    --Homer Simpson
    According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless...

  • #2
    Kids Books You'Ll Never See

    "You Were an Accident"

    "How to Dress Sexy for Grownups"

    "Strangers Have the Best Candy"

    "Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her"

    "Bi-Curious George"

    "The Little Sissy Who Snitched"

    "Some Kittens Can Fly!"

    "Getting More Chocolate on Your Face"

    "Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?"

    "Daddy Drinks Because You Cry"

    "Where Would You Like to Be Buried?"

    "The Attention Deficit Disorder Association's Book of Wild Animals of North America. Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!"

    "All Dogs Go to Hell"

    "The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking"

    "When Mommy and Daddy Don't Know the Answer They Say God Did It"

    "Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia"

    "What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?"

    "Mister Policeman Eats His Service Revolver"

    "You Are Different and That's Bad"



    New State Slogans

    Alabama:
    Yes, We Have Electricity
    Alaska:
    11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

    Arizona:
    But It's a Dry Heat

    Arkansas:
    Litterasy Ain't Everthing

    California:
    By 30 Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.

    Colorado:
    If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

    Connecticut:
    Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedies Don't Own It Yet.

    Delaware:
    We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

    Florida:
    Ask Us About Our Grandkids

    Georgia:
    We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

    Hawaii:
    Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

    Idaho:
    More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

    Illinois:
    Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

    Indiana:
    2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

    Iowa:
    We Do Amazing Things With Corn

    Kansas:
    First Of The Rectangle States

    Kentucky:
    Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

    Louisiana:
    We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

    Maine:
    We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

    Maryland:
    If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

    Massachusetts:
    Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

    Michigan:
    First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

    Minnesota:
    10,000 Lakes And 10,000,000 Mosquitoes

    Mississippi:
    Come Feel Better About Your Own State

    Missouri:
    Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

    Montana:
    Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, & Very Little Else

    Nebraska:
    Ask About Our State Motto Contest

    Nevada:
    Whores and Poker!

    New Hampshire:
    Go Away And Leave Us Alone

    New Jersey:
    You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

    New Mexico:
    Lizards Make Excellent Pets

    New York:
    You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney...

    North Carolina:
    Tobacco Is A Vegetable

    North Dakota:
    We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

    Ohio:
    At Least We're Not Michigan

    Oklahoma:
    Like The Play, Only No Singing

    Oregon:
    Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

    Pennsylvania:
    Cook With Coal

    Rhode Island:
    We're Not REALLY An Island

    South Carolina:
    Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

    South Dakota:
    Closer Than North Dakota

    Tennessee:
    The Educashun State

    Texas:
    Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)

    Utah:
    Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

    Vermont:
    Yep

    Virginia:
    Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

    Washington:
    Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

    Washington, D.C.:
    Wanna Be Mayor?

    West Virginia:
    One Big Happy Family...Really!

    Wisconsin:
    Come Cut The Cheese

    Wyoming:
    Where Men Are Men...And The Sheep Are Afraid!!!!!!!!!!
    According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless...

    Comment


    • #3
      LOL!

      Thanx, Guru!

      Comment


      • #4
        Great!
        If there's artificial intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.

        Jeremy Clarkson "806 brake horsepower..and that on that limp wrist faerie liquid the Americans call petrol, if you run it on the more explosive jungle juice we have in Europe you'd be getting 850 brake horsepower..."

        Comment


        • #5
          That's too funny
          "That's right fool! Now I'm a flying talking donkey!"

          P4 2.66, 512 mb PC2700, ATI Radeon 9000, Seagate Barracude IV 80 gb, Acer Al 732 17" TFT

          Comment


          • #6
            Guru! You missed a quote:

            "I can only compare American beer to making love in a canoe...

            Because it's f**king close to water!"

            John Cleese

            Kevin

            Comment


            • #7
              You've forgotten the next two as well (rough re-translations from the german translations I know):

              "I don't have a problem with alcohol - just without..."

              "As long as you can lie on the floor without having to cling on to something, you're NOT drunk..."

              Dean Martin (I think)
              Last edited by Indiana; 9 December 2001, 11:46.
              But we named the *dog* Indiana...
              My System
              2nd System (not for Windows lovers )
              German ATI-forum

              Comment


              • #8
                Yes and one of my favorites "Alcohol does not solve any problems but neither does milk!"
                According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless...

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Guru
                  Yes and one of my favorites "Alcohol does not solve any problems but neither does milk!"
                  NOT true.....it solves sobriety.

                  b
                  Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow? But why put off until tomorrow what you can put off altogether?

                  Comment

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