The Quote Thread....

[Muad'Dib]

You guys have any favorite quotes?

Here's on of mine.....

There is probably no more terrible instant of enlightenment that the one in which you discover your father is a man - with human flesh.

-Frank Herbert Dune pg. 102

and of course my sig....

-Mitzo [MU] (damn that seems like a long time ago that I've written that! you guys still play the occasional UT game?)

***edit***
ooops....

[Guru]

1) Alexander the Great was a great general.
(2) Great generals are forewarned.
(3) Forewarned is forearmed.
(4) Four is an even number.
(5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have.
(6) The only number that is both even and odd is infinity.
Therefore, Alexander the Great had an infinite number of arms.




(From the operation manual for the CI-300 Dot Matrix Line Printer, made in Japan):
The excellent output machine of MODEL CI-300 as extraordinary DOT MATRIX LINE PRINTER, built in two MICRO-PROCESSORs as well as EAROM, is featured by permitting wonderful co-existence such as; "high quality against low cost", "diversified functions with compact design", "flexibility in accessibleness and durability of approx. 2000,000,00 Dot/Head", "being sophisticated in mechanism but possibly agile operating under noises being extremely suppressed" etc.

And as a matter of course, the final goal is just simply to help achieve "super shuttle diplomacy" between cool data, perhaps earned by HOST COMPUTER, and warm heart of human being.




A reading from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20:
Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

— Monty Python, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"



"We had it tough ... I had to get up at 9 o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of dry poison, work 29 hours down mill, and when we came home our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our grave singing Haleleuia ..."
— Monty Python


"Kids, you tried your best and failed miserably.
The lesson is: Never try."
Homer S.


Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not nailed down.
— Collis P. Huntingdon

Blore's Razor:
Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is funnier.


Committee Rules:
(1) Never arrive on time, or you will be stamped a beginner.
(2) Don't say anything until the meeting is half over; this stamps you as being wise.
(3) Be as vague as possible; this prevents irritating the others.
(4) When in doubt, suggest that a subcommittee be appointed.
(5) Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you popular — it's what everyone is waiting for.
# Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

— Albert Einstein


Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
— Dykstra


To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.
— Thomas Edison



Sen. Danforth: "There is nothing on the face of the album which would notify you if the record has pornographics material or material glorifying violence?"
Tipper Gore: "No, there is nothing that would suggest that to me."
Frank Zappa: "I would say that a buzz saw blade between the guy's legs on the album cover is good indication that it's not for little Johnny."
— The Senate Commerce Committee hearing on rock lyrics, from The Village Voice, 6 Oct 1985


Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
— Rich Kulawiec



Churchill's Commentary on Man:
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on


We are all agreed that your theory is crazy. The question which divides us is whether it is crazy enough to have a chance of being correct. My own feeling is that it is not crazy enough.
— Niels Bohr


"Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats."
— Howard Aiken


Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom:
No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats — approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less.


Crash programs fail because they are based on the theory that, with nine women pregnant, you can get a baby in a month.
— Wernher von Braun


The church is near but the road is icy; the bar is far away but I will walk carefully.
— Russian Proverb


According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
— Vincent "Jimmy Blue Eyes" Alo

A billion here, a couple of billion there — first thing you know it adds up to be real money.
— Senator Everett McKinley Dirksen


Van Roy's Law:
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.


Albert Einstein, when asked to describe radio, replied: "You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."

[Wulfman]

"An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind. "

- Mahatma Gandhi


Why (oh God, why)?
Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

not sure, but I think it was
- terry pratchet

[edit]: forgot one:

Wie lang eine Minute ist hängt davon ab vor welcher Seite der Klotür man sich befindet.

mfg
wulfman

[Gurm]

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

- Arthur C. Clarke, Rendezvous With Rama

"Any sufficiently arcane magick is indistinguishable from technology."

- P. David Lebling, Trinity

[Guru]

We must not forget:
My mothers cocking can sometimes kill.
And when she forgets to not wash my clothes togheter with my sisters clothes I get into real trubble,
I am alergic and she loves her angora cat....
Had a black t-shirt that came back white, completely cowered in fur....
besides it's nearly 2,5 months to that point.

[mdhome]

Guru
Should that be cooking and not cocking? If not then fair play to her


regards MD

[nehalmistry]

Should that be cooking and not cocking? If not then fair play to her

i hope you didnt imply what i think you did

[RichL]

I think the one I use the most is without a doubt -

<i>I say we take off and nuke the place from orbit - it's the only way to be sure.</i> - <B>Aliens</b>

[Pneumatic]

Guru is quoting an unfortunate typo that happened here in MURC a few weeks back. Too funny.

[The PIT]

Or another one from Aliens.

What are we suppose to use harsh language?

[Jammrock]

It's amazing what you can do, when you don't know what you can't accomplish.

The more I learn, the better I understand, how little I know.

I got two words for you! Nuclear *^@#*% Weapons! - Dennis Leary

Jammrock

[Dr Mordrid]

A few from the world of mathematics;


"A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there"

- Charles R. Darwin


"As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not
certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality."

- Albert Einstein


"As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school."

- Cokie Roberts (ABC news commentator)


"To speak algebraically, Mr. M. is execrable, but Mr. G. is
(x+1)ecrable."

-Edgar Alan Poe


"Entropy isn't what it used to be..."

"Heisenberg might have slept here."

"Black Holes are where God is dividing by zero"

"A probability is a desperate attempt of chaos to become stable."

"Wanted, dead or alive: Schroedinger's cat."

- anonymous


"Here Kitty,Kitty"

- Schroedinger


Q: What's the difference between a quantum mechanic and an auto mechanic?

A: A quantum mechanic can get his car into the garage without opening the door.


The Heineken Uncertainty Principle:

You can never be sure how many beers you had last night.


The subatomic particle store had a sale last week.

Electrons: $0.10
Protons : $0.10
Neutrons : free of charge

Dr. Mordrid

[Ant]

You're banned

- me

[Fat Tone]

Originally posted by Dr Mordrid
"Heisenberg might have slept here."

LoL

[The Rock]

Fight Club has some good ones:

"Tyler Durden: Our generation has had no Great Depression, no Great War. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives.
--
Tyler Durden: We are a generation of men raised by women. I'm beginning to wonder if another woman is what we really need.
--
Tyler Durden: You are not your job. You are not the money in your bank account. You are not the car you drive. You are not how much money is in your wallet. You are not your f**** khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
--
Tyler Durden: Self improvement is masturbation. Self destruction is the answer.
--
Tyler Durden: You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
--
Tyler Durden: Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.
--


Bart