View Full Version : Benny the Barbarian.

4th March 2001, 03:49
Once upon a time there was a barbarian who decided to get himself an computer.
He went to the nearest computer shop and bought a computer with a fast Duron processor.
He asked if the computer had Internet and the sales person told the barbarian that the computer neither had a modem nor any other possibilities to connect to the Internet.
"Good, the Internet is only for stupid kids and for idiots" the barbarian said and left the store with his new computer.
Upon returning to his lair he used the remaining days of the week trying to figure out if the orange cord should be in the orange outlet.
When he finally was able to start his computer he was terrified when he first saw the Microsoft logo in the screen.
"They are trying to make me use that silly Internet" he was so scared that he almost ran for his life.
Then the Desktop of WinME appeared and he saw the "Internet Explorer" icon and his fear transformed into rage.

Her ran all the way back to the computer store and started to howl, curse, threaten and fart.
The sales person (who had been on sick leave when the barbarian had bought the computer) tried to calm him down and ask him what was wrong.
The barbarian continued to call the salesperson foul names and other undignified things.
And then he started to advance further swinging his fists and generally looking like a deranged windmill.
Then when he was prepared the cause the salesperson bodily harm a pack of free Internet CD's caught his vision and he looked around in the store and found himself surrounded of things that was made by Microsoft or could be used to connect to the Internet.

He ran out of the store and didn't stop until he was safe home in his lair.
You see, Benny the Barbarian wasn't the bravest barbarian or the strongest one.
He sneaked back later that week precise on closing time of the store and confronted the salesperson that sold him the computer.
Benny again started to curse and howl and swinging his fists like a deranged windmill.
Fortunately for the salesperson the system integrator was on his way to leave the store and when the barbarian saw him he stopped dead in his tracks.
The barbarian was trying to figure out what he should do now and thinking is hard for a barbarian.
Before he could decide on anything the salesperson said
"Return the computer and we'll give you your money back"
The barbarian said, "OK" and left in a hurry since the system integrator looked angry enough to show a Macintosh up where "the sun never shines" on the barbarian.

Two days later the barbarian had conjured up enough courage to return to the store with the computer and got his money and with a last reply he left never to be seen again.
"Now I'm going to get a computer with only Word and Excel and no Windows and no Microsoft!!"

The employees of the computer store wished the barbarian a gruesome life and continued to sell computers both with and without Internet to happy customers and lived happily ever after.

The End

Any resemblance to actually people is entirely intentional.

Edit: " was turned into ? by some strange event.

[This message has been edited by Technoid (edited 04 March 2001).]

4th March 2001, 07:51
Touching story....