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Frankfurt
13th June 2000, 09:32
Well, everyone here has some idea what those are, basically i found this web site while doing searching for school stuff, and i found this link: http://www.techtales.com/ttales0499.html

i haven't and likely wont read them all, but there are some real funny ones in there that i have read. Have a look and let me know what you think...i'll include one to whet your appetites...its an april fools call, but here it is:


Working for an ISP nets you some interesting stories, but this one just blows me away.

Our tech support deparment was pleasantly surprised during this April 1st. We had an unusually low volume of calls on a day of the week that usually is pretty busy. We sat around the office wondering what was going on when one of our customer service reps comes in and says she just got a very odd call.

A customer had called in and asked if she could use the Internet today. Our rep asks why, the customer replies that she'd heard on the radio that the Internet was being shut down for maintenance.

Sometimes you just wanna scream.... http://forums.murc.ws/ubb/smile.gif

added
this is another good one, actually a few, but have a look see


[/b]Operating a Computer Under The Influence...[/b]

People should not be allowed to use a computer when drunk, blitzed, stoned, stupid (and not under any influence), etc..

You may be wondering why I say this. As a tech for the big COMPuter store in the USA, I get lots of strange calls. Today I got an entire sequence of them..


[Normal greeting garbage omitted]

Call 1:
Me: And what can I do for you today?
User: The Internet is broken!!!
M: Um... (rolling eyes) Alright, could you please clarify that?
U: The internet is broken! I double clicked on Browse the Internet, and it gave me an error!!! I demand that you fix it!!!
M: Is your computer plugged into the telephone line?
U: It needs a telephone line?

Turns out that the l/user had never hooked up the machine to the telephone line. Let alone setting up the necessary account with an ISP, etc.

That wasn't all that bad compared to the next call.

Call 2:
M: What can I do for you, sir?
U: (blearily) Uhh... my Mac can't print.
M: OK, what kind of Mac, and what type of printer?
U: (more blearily) Uhhhmmmmm it's a... a.... a... a..... iMac. And it's an Epshun Sev-sev-seven-fort..y.
M: Have you installed the drivers for the printer?
(brief exchange about what exactly drivers are)
M: OK, please get out the Software Install CD that came with your iMac.
U: Ohhhkay.. I gotta reach over and get it.....
(THUD) (SNORE)
M: Sir? Sir? Are you okay?
U: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
M: Sir?
U: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...........

At this point I disconnected the call. I heard back from him later, though, through another tech. It seems he'd had way too many that night, tried to get his iMac fixed, and when reaching for the CD's had passed out.

Call 3:

M: What seems to be the problem, sir?
U: My iMac screen is all messed up! It looks like someone spilled a paint set all over the screen.

Now some iMacs had a video problem, so I started walking him through the troubleshooting procedures to eliminate a software problem. As I proceeded, I noticed these descriptions of his iMac...

U: My iMac is such a pretty green color.

U: I like this blue iMac.

Hmm, say I, light finally dawning. Could be just that he has a blue-green (Bondi!) iMac and can't decide what color it is. I decide to run a test on him a couple of minutes later...

M: And what color is your iMac, sir?
U: It's a cool orange.
M: (!!!!) Alright, sir, you can stop what you're doing. What's going on is perfectly normal and the colors will go away in a few hours. If they don't, turn that iMac off and come back tomorrow afternoon. It should be OK by then.
U: You sure, man?
M: (stifling laughter) Yes, I'm sure it'll be okay.
U: OK, thanks man!
(click)

I don't know what he was on, but it appeared to be some good stuff.

And the capper, so far today:

Call 4:

M: And what's the problem today?
U: My iMac has a blank screen.
M: Have you plugged it in?
U: I thought this thing ran off a battery!!!! It even shows you how to replace the thing in the manual.

Of course, what he was referring to was the clock battery. Took 20 minutes to explain that that was not the main power source for the machine.



[This message has been edited by Frankfurt (edited 13 June 2000).]

FaRaN
13th June 2000, 09:37
I heard a story of a woman calling a helpdesk for a copy of internet on a floppy. Laughed my ass off...

Probably some standard story, but funny nevertheless.

Jammrock
13th June 2000, 12:04
Ever wonder why Gateway tower cases (and many others) are rounded at the top?

Have a friend that worked for Gateway tech support. His funniest story was from a customer that wanted a new case for his computer. After some troubleshooting he found out that he had a mid tower case and had placed the monior on top if it. He wanted a shorter case so he could see the screen better.

Jammrock

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Athlon 650, Biostar board, 128 MB PC133 (Crucial), G400 32 MB DH, SB Live! w/ Digital I/O, 10/100 NIC, lots of case fans, etc...

HedsSpaz
13th June 2000, 12:46
Heres another pretty stereotypical one, but it's funny just the same. Other people have probably had this happen to them as well, but my dad worked in tech support for a brief period of time. One day about a week after christmas he got a call from some lady who had bought a new computer for christmas. She said that everything seemed to be working ok, except for the foot pedal.......
(pauses)

I really hope you get that, because if you don't I'm going to have to smack you.


Ian

ahartman
13th June 2000, 15:45
Not a tech support story but I was in a meeting w/my department head yesterday. We were talking about web design and how it has to cater to the least common denominator when it comes to users.

He struggled with the right words for 'dumb user' for a while before coming up with:

"unencumbered with knowledge"

Man, he's good.

LAMFDTK
14th June 2000, 13:34
I had a 60year old women with 875 meg in her recycle bin on a 1.6 gig HD....

Hunsow
14th June 2000, 14:34
Please define "had".

FaRaN
15th June 2000, 02:23
Wow You had SEX with a 60y old woman?!?!?!
Eeeeuuuwww!

http://forums.murc.ws/ubb/smile.gif

Genom
15th June 2000, 09:29
Better than sex with a 60 year old man.

[This message has been edited by Genom (edited 15 June 2000).]

jms
16th June 2000, 10:11
Kinda related:


I was helping someone set up his computer, and he wanted to create a login
password.... now you have to understand he's got somewhat of a rebellious
attitude and goes for the shock effect... so when the computer asked him to
enter his password, he keys in "penis"...
I nearly fell off the chair from laughing so hard when the computer replied:
*** PASSWORD REJECTED. TOO SHORT *****

Jan

xortam
16th June 2000, 12:29
Now that's funny!!!

Mark F
16th June 2000, 15:11
...

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OH NO, my retractable cup holder swallowed a DVD...
and burped out a movie

Duty
17th June 2000, 08:09
About 3.5 years ago I helped set up and man the helpdesk at the Jr. College I was attending.

While there a teacher called and asked if the Internet was down. Now working with a lot of computer illiterate teachers (lots of them!) I understood that he meant the connection for the campus. I sad no and started the normal trouble shouting questions and such. Quickly I realized he didn't log into the network but hit cancel (win95). I started to explain to him why he needed to login to the network when he blew up and in a condescending voice told me "I know all that, I'm a computer science teacher!".

I hung up...

My boss understood...

I was a tech for the university for a bout a year and Iím now a sysadmin and webdude for a teacher, so I still work with teachers on a lot of projects. I am still amazed at how little most of my teachers know about modern technology.

Get your doctorate, stop learning and remind everyone how smart you are as much as possible http://forums.murc.ws/ubb/wink.gif


Jeff


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Remember when naps were a bad thing?

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You stop learning when you are die, and some people just don't know the're dead yet!
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ABIT BP6 - 2 x Celeron 500 @ 533 - 196MB PC100 - MX300 - 3Com 509c -Kingston 10/100 KNE110tx - Creative PC DVD 6x - G400 DH - DSL (True Love Here) - Win98 se - Win 2000 pro