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Application to go on the Jerry Springer Show

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  • Application to go on the Jerry Springer Show

    That's just the RSUA (Redneck Society Uv Americka) application.

    - Gurm

    ------------------
    Listen up, you primitive screwheads! See this? This is my BOOMSTICK! Etc. etc.
    The Internet - where men are men, women are men, and teenage girls are FBI agents!

    I'm the least you could do
    If only life were as easy as you
    I'm the least you could do, oh yeah
    If only life were as easy as you
    I would still get screwed

  • #2
    Application to go on the Jerry Springer Show

    Last name: ________________

    First name: (Check appropriate box)

    (_) Billy-Bob (_) Billy-Joe (_) Billy-Ray (_) Billy-Sue (_) Billy-Mae (_)
    Billy-Jack

    What does everyone call you?

    (_) Booger (_) Bubba (_) Junior (_) Sissy (_) Other___________________

    Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)

    Shoe Size: Left ____, Right ____


    Occupation: (Check appropriate box)
    (_) Farmer (_) Mechanic (_) Hair (_) Unemployed (_) Dirty Politician (_)
    Preacher

    Spouse's Name:________________________

    2nd Spouse's Name:_____________________

    3rd Spouse's Name:_____________________

    Lover's Name:_________________________

    Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box)
    (_) Sister (_) Brother (_) Aunt (_) Uncle (_) Cousin (_) Mother (_) Father
    (_) Son (_) Daughter (_) Pet

    Number of children living in household:_____

    Number of children living in shed: ______

    Number that are yours: ______

    Mother's Name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)

    Father's Name: ________________________(If not sure, leave blank)

    Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)

    Total number of vehicles you own: ___

    Number of vehicles that still crank: ___

    Number of vehicles in front yard: ___

    Number of vehicles in back yard: ___

    Number of vehicles on cement blocks: ___

    Firearms you own and where you keep them:
    ____ truck ____ bedroom ____ bathroom ____ kitchen ____ shed


    Model and year of your pickup:
    .................................................. ..........................
    ...........................

    Do you have a gun rack? If no, please explain:
    .................................................. ..........................
    ...........................

    Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
    (_) The National Enquirer (_) The Globe (_) TV Guide (_) Soap Opera Digest
    (_) Rifle and Shotgun

    Number of times you've seen a UFO:_____

    Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen Elvis:_____

    Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO:_____


    How often do you bathe:
    (_) Weekly (_) Monthly (_) N/A

    Color of eyes:
    Left _____, Right _____

    Color of hair:
    (_) Blond (_) Black (_) Red (_) Brown (_) White (_) Clairol


    Color of teeth:
    (_) Yellow (_) Brownish-Yellow (_) Brown (_) Black (_) N/A

    Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
    (_)Red-Man (_) Shoot

    How far is your home from a paved road?
    (_) 1 mile (_) 2 miles (_) Just a whoop-and-a-holler! (_) Road?

    (excuse the bad formating)
    The Welsh support two teams when it comes to rugby. Wales of course, and anyone else playing England

    Comment


    • #3
      ROFLMAO

      ------------------
      ,HS61 004G ,mar BM 691 , 065@005 iamtaK
      BG 31 0234 rotxaM, BG 03 +04 rotxaM


      [This message has been edited by CHHAS (edited 18 May 2000).]
      "That's right fool! Now I'm a flying talking donkey!"

      P4 2.66, 512 mb PC2700, ATI Radeon 9000, Seagate Barracude IV 80 gb, Acer Al 732 17" TFT

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      • #4
        Appologies if i have offended any of you Americans out there (except Dimitri of course )
        The Welsh support two teams when it comes to rugby. Wales of course, and anyone else playing England

        Comment


        • #5
          Actually, we American probably find it more humorous than you Europeans. The funniest part is how true that application really is in some areas...eek.

          Jammrock
          “Inside every sane person there’s a madman struggling to get out”
          –The Light Fantastic, Terry Pratchett

          Comment


          • #6
            ROFL!! Damn that's funny. I swear, there's better humor writers in this forum than there are in Hollywood.

            The Rock
            www.3dforce.com
            Bart

            Comment


            • #7
              Hi Paddy [MU], I realized I am qualified to go on that show! Except you spelled mecanik wrong, or is that the way it's spelled over there?
              MSI K7D Master L, Water Cooled, All SCSI
              Modded XP2000's @ 1800 (12.5 x 144 FSB)
              512MB regular Crucial PC2100
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              LianLiPC70

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              • #8
                It kinda reminds me of the K.T.Y.S.A.P program in Texas.

                Keep Telling Yourself Sister Ain't Pretty

                Paul
                "Never interfere with the enemy when he is in the process of destroying himself"

                Comment


                • #9
                  thats how its spelt stompy!
                  The Welsh support two teams when it comes to rugby. Wales of course, and anyone else playing England

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Just like "spelt"?

                    Sorry, I'm a grammar geek. Forgive me, I beg of you.

                    - Gurm

                    P.S. Want to have a horrible evening sometime? Try making a conscious effort to never end a sentence with a preposition. You'll go NUTS.

                    ------------------
                    Listen up, you primitive screwheads! See this? This is my BOOMSTICK! Etc. etc.
                    The Internet - where men are men, women are men, and teenage girls are FBI agents!

                    I'm the least you could do
                    If only life were as easy as you
                    I'm the least you could do, oh yeah
                    If only life were as easy as you
                    I would still get screwed

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Wheew, good thing I only qualify for a few of those.... lol

                      BTW, Gurm, what's a preposition? They don't teach of anything in honors english in my schools.... LOL

                      Dimitri
                      "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: His eyes are closed"
                      --- Albert Einstein


                      "Drag racing is for people that don't know how to brake and downshift at the same time."

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Muad'Dib:

                        Are you serious?

                        - Gurm

                        ------------------
                        Listen up, you primitive screwheads! See this? This is my BOOMSTICK! Etc. etc.
                        The Internet - where men are men, women are men, and teenage girls are FBI agents!

                        I'm the least you could do
                        If only life were as easy as you
                        I'm the least you could do, oh yeah
                        If only life were as easy as you
                        I would still get screwed

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Okay Jason, can you tell me (warning: dumb Dutchman!) what a preposition is? I'm at work where people don't have English dictionaries lying around

                          You could give an example as well.

                          Jord.
                          Jordâ„¢

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            They must have really lowered the bar in regards to education, or you were off that day Muad'Dib.

                            It is a word that connects a noun to another word, like "by" or "to."
                            MSI K7D Master L, Water Cooled, All SCSI
                            Modded XP2000's @ 1800 (12.5 x 144 FSB)
                            512MB regular Crucial PC2100
                            Matrox P
                            X15 36-LP Cheetahs In RAID 0
                            LianLiPC70

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              It was a joke...
                              "The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: His eyes are closed"
                              --- Albert Einstein


                              "Drag racing is for people that don't know how to brake and downshift at the same time."

                              Comment

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