View Full Version : QUICK!!!! Grab another Beer!!

20th March 2000, 18:57
The following is an actual excerpt from this month's Forbe's Magazine:

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the
whole is maintained or even improved by the regular culling of the weakest members.

In much the same way, the human brain can operate only as fast as the slowest brain cells through which the electrical signals pass. Recent epidemiological studies have shown that while excessive intake of alcohol kills off brain cells, it attacks the slowest
and weakest brain cells first.

Thus, regular consumption of beer helps eliminate the weaker cells, constantly making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. The result of this in-depth study verifies and validates the causal link
between all-weekend parties and job related
performance. It also explains why, after a few short years of leaving a university and getting married, most professionals cannot keep up with the performance of the new graduates.

Only those few that stick to the strict regimen of voracious alcoholic consumption can maintain the intellectual levels that they achieve during their college years.

So, this is a call to arms. As our country is losing its technological edge, we must not shudder in our homes.

Get back into the bars. Quaff that pint. Your company and country need you to be at your peak, and you shouldn't deny yourself the career that you could have. Take life by the bottle and be all that you can be.

Forward this to all of your friends, acquaintances and co-workers that may be in danger of losing their edge.


20th March 2000, 19:13
That's nice, I thought our neurons are in limited numbers and unlike those buffaloes they don't reproduce.

20th March 2000, 19:29
Great, maybe now my boss will get a keg for me every week.


20th March 2000, 20:05
According to my Psycho - Bio profs, andrei is correct. What do they know though.... http://forums.murc.ws/ubb/smile.gif


Only ONE final to go!!! http://forums.murc.ws/ubb/smile.gif

20th March 2000, 20:28
Well, since the average American only uses like 10% of their brian, i figure i must need about %20 of it.... So i can go ahead and kill the slower %80!!! http://forums.murc.ws/ubb/smile.gif

21st March 2000, 06:14
I also believed that the neurones closest to the blood supply will recieve the highest concentration of alcohol and therefore be killed - regardless of speed?

I also belived that the speed of transmission was related to the myelination of the neurone, and sould therefore be pretty much constant in the healthy CNS?

McRhea is believe it is your turn to step in now?


22nd March 2000, 09:53
Pauly I could kiss you on the lips! http://forums.murc.ws/ubb/wink.gif http://forums.murc.ws/ubb/wink.gif

Just the boost I needed to maintain my profligate lifestyle.

Andrei...Au Contraire. All arguments to the contrary must be immediately dispatched!!! It is a fact that none of us use even 10% of our current capacity, so killing off those lazy suckers just forces new fresh ones to be brought online.

Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

He He!

22nd March 2000, 10:24
I hear the cork unpopping from Tim's Scotch bottle again http://forums.murc.ws/ubb/wink.gif

So maybe what we talked about yesterday is true, Tim http://forums.murc.ws/ubb/smile.gif ... Just the aspirins the other day kill us !!


22nd March 2000, 10:27
Hmmm, went to a Boston Bruins game last night, drank a shXtload of beer :P, woke up this morning and can't think for crap, must have left a bunch of very weak cells hanging around.
The moral: always drink one more beer http://forums.murc.ws/ubb/biggrin.gif

22nd March 2000, 10:56
Whoa!!! Easy there Tim!! http://forums.murc.ws/ubb/redface.gif

You could always give the alcohol a boost with that new wonder drug called Ginkgo Viagra. It helps you remember what the F**K you were doing...LOL


[This message has been edited by ALBPM (edited 22 March 2000).]

22nd March 2000, 13:23
Ofcourse, there's never a Free Beer on IRQ#?? when we need one at this moment, right?? http://forums.murc.ws/ubb/icons/icon8.gif

So come-on, people, who has problems with his IRQs so we can have a party? http://thedam.com/cwm/smile/cwm/killtard.gif


Mark F
23rd March 2000, 12:35
Jorden cool splater!!

DuRaNgO think we (Panthers) are there tonight.

Tonight I go defend my local-bar championship in the BUD Bubble Boy Tournament. So tonight me in a bar, Panthers' hockey, Bubble Boy Hockey, and beer! Guess I have to make sure to have that one extra.

Mark F.

OH NO, my retractable cup holder swallowed a DVD...
and burped out a movie

Mark F
23rd March 2000, 12:38
Servers mush be on the fritz again; my last post was an hour before Jorden's?!?

Mark F.

OH NO, my retractable cup holder swallowed a DVD...
and burped out a movie

23rd March 2000, 14:55
Patrick reaches for his sixth can of Stella Artois

23rd March 2000, 14:57
btw, has anyone else heard of Stella?
Dimitri (US) has not.....